02-MY WALLET BLEEDS

MY WALLET BLEEDS I barely had taken two pawsteps into the room when Grandfather William began SHOUTING at me. "Graaandson! How dare you arrive at this hour?" he thundered. I cringed. Where had I heard that shrieking voice before? "But, Grandfather, it's nine o'clock! This is when the office opens," I explained. Grandfather William just shook his head. "RIDICULOUS!" he cried. "Do you realize you've slept half the day away, Grandson?! I've been here since six o'clock!!!" A light went on inside my mouse-sized brain. So that was the shrieking voice I had heard on the phone this morning. "Thanks for the wake-up call," I grumbled.

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Curling his whiskers, he sniggered with satisfaction. "Now, you listen to me, sonny boy!" he ordered, pulling my ear. "Things are looking bad around here, very bad indeed! Do you know why?" I opened my mouth to reply, but he didn't give me a chance to answer. "I'll tell you why!" he bellowed. "Because you're spending too much! TOO MUCH! T-o-o m-u-c-h! You must economize! Economize, economize, economize!" Then he stuck his snout in my ear. "Do you know the meaning of the word, my dear grandson?" he hollered at the top of his lungs. "I'm talking Economize!

E as in END THIS EXTRAVAGANCE IMMEDIATELY! C as in CUT BACK ON ALL EXPENSES! O as in ON YOUR TOES! THINGS ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE!!! N as in No MORE SPENDING! O as in OH, WHAT A MESS YOU HAVE MADE OF THINGS! M as in MEND YOUR WAYS, GRANDSON, OR I'M TAKING BACK THE FIRM! I as in I FEEL SICK WHEN I HEAR SUCH THINGS! Z as in ZERO, ZILCH, NO SPENDING! E as in ECONOMIZE ON EVERYTHING!" I gulped. "Y" as in yikes! I thought. I guess it wouldn't be a good time to tell Grandfather William about the expensive leather loveseat I had ordered for my office. "B-but, Grandfather..." I began.

He pulled my other ear. "Grandfather, my paw! Starting today, I'm keeping track of EVERYTHING!" he shouted, waving the account books under my snout. "I expect to see lots of changes. For example, how did you get here this morning?" I chewed my whiskers. "Well, I took a taxi," I replied. He slammed his paw on the table. "Exactly! This is what I'm talking about! My wallet BLEEDS when I hear such things." He grabbed me by the tie. "Grandson, from now on you'll take the subway to work. No, even better, you can come ON PAW. This way, you'll save on the fare and you'll get in first-rat shape!!!" I felt completely dazed and confused. I tried to sit down to catch my breath.

But when I looked around for a chair, I realized Grandfather William had already made some changes. Some perfectly horrifying changes! All of my furniture was gone! The desk designed for me by the famous architect Frank Lloyd Rat was nowhere in sight. I whirled around in shock! What had happened to my precious leather pawchair, my imported Cheshire cat-fur carpet, my expensive artwork, and my priceless library? The office was empty! My heart sank like the big ball of cheese in Singing Stone Plaza on New Year's Eve. I had been robbed by my own relative! A plastic table and a plastic chair were the only