09-KING OF THE ROAD

KING OF THE ROAD At last, we were ready to leave. Granddad drove down the block. Two minutes later, we discovered we had a little problem. No, make that two little problems. Benjamin and Trap had come down with rodent pox! They were covered from head to paw with

RED BUMPS. We returned home to drop them off. Now there were only four of us. Granddad, of course, sat behind the wheel. Tina banged pots and pans in the kitchen. My sister took pictures, leaning out the window. And I read the map. I tried to give Grandfather William directions, but as usual, he wouldn't listen. When I told him to turn left, he insisted on turning right. "Don't be a BACKSEAT DRIVER, Grandson!" he barked. "I know where we're going. You forget, I've TRAVELED all over the world. I have my own map right here inside the old noggin." He tapped his head. "Yep, I've got a memory like a steel trap. I can find my way to the Swiss Cheese Islands with my eyes closed. I can make it to Mouse Everest with

one paw tied behind my back. I can even walk and chew cheese at the same time." In the end, we got lost. We traveled for hours along a deserted road. We didn't pass one SINGLE road sign.

By nightfall, we found ourselves in the MIDDLE of a forest. Granddad didn't seem to mind. He just kept driving and driving. I tried to use the super-high-tech SATELLITE SYSTEM. But it was so confusing. And the instruction manual was missing. Finally, Grandfather pulled over. "I think I'll take a rest," he announced. "Who wants to drive?" No one squeaked. Do you want to know why? It's an absolute nightmare driving with Granddad. He barks out orders the whole time. He even throws a fit if you blink! Grandfather William says he is king of the road. Sometimes he even wears a crown while he's driving. It was a gag gift from Trap. But Granddad took it seriously.

"Who's taking the wheel? No time for dillydallying!" Grandfather shouted now. "I can't do it all! Even a genius needs to rest sometimes."