18-HEEELP! HOW DO YOU RIDE THIS THING？

HEEELP! HOW DO YOU RIDE THIS THING? I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. It was happening all over again. I was off on another wild ride. Were all Ratzikistanis this crazy? I wondered. Or did I just get lucky? Rancid rat hairs! It couldn't get any worse than this. COULD IT? Half an hour later, it did. The crazy mouse driver started squeaking at me in Ratzikistani. For some reason, he kept pointing to the handlebars. What was he trying to tell me? I didn't have a clue. Maybe he was just showing me the parts of

the snowmobile. I decided to play along. "Yes, the handlebars are for steering." I nodded. What next? The wheels? The horn? Did snowmobiles even have horns? I didn't know. I had never been on one before. Just then, the driver slapped me on the back. He pointed to the handlebars again. Then he fell sound asleep. I tried waking him up. But it was no use. "Help!" I shrieked in a panic. "How do you ride this thing?" My cry rang out in the darkness. Of course, no one answered. What nutty rodent would be outside on such a freezing cold night? Or was it day? Who knew? It seemed like it was always nighttime in Ratzikistan. Oh, how I hated this horrible, dark place.

Suddenly, I realized we were RACING down an incredibly steep hill. "No!" I screamed. "I want to get off! I want to go home! I want my mommy!" Next to me, I could hear my driver happily

snoring away. Then the snowmobile hit the ground. It was a miracle. We were all still in ONE PIECE. Finally, my driver woke up. He STRETCHED. He YAWNED. Was this mouse for real? Couldn't he see we were speeding along out of control? Couldn't he see I was about to have a nervous breakdown? Right then, a big cheese-colored shape appeared before my eyes. It was the camper! flash! flash! flash! Flashes of light snapped in the darkness. My sister, Thea, was taking pictures. Rats! My fur must look like a mess. But there was no time to worry about it

now. "Where are the brakes?!" I shrieked in a panic. At last, the driver took over. He spun around right in front of the camper. I was thrown out of the snowmobile. I landed snout-first in an enormouse snowbank. The driver tossed me the gas can. Then he SPED OFF. My sister took one last picture of me with a snout full of icicles. "These pictures are perfect for our book!" she declared. "And I've got the perfect caption: Fun times in Ratzikistan!" I didn't have the strength to reply. I dragged myself to the camper. Could it get any worst? I wondered. And then it did. As soon as I walked in,

Tina stuffed a SIZZLING slice of pizza into my mouth. Have you ever burned your tongue on hot pizza? I HOWLED in pain. "See, Mr. Geronimo, I told you I'd keep your pizza warm," Tina said proudly. Why, oh, why had I come on such a crazy adventure?