17-CRAZY RIDER

CRAZY RIDER CHEESE NIBLETS! Sled Mouse was a crazy driver. He was going so fast, it felt like we were flying. I held on for dear life. We plunged down steep slopes. We rocketed over frozen lakes. I squeezed my eyes shut. Oh, when would this miserable ride be over? Sled Mouse didn't seem to notice I was shaking like a leaf. He kept chattering away. Of course, I had no idea what he was saying. Maybe it was better that way. I might have been even more terrified. I wasn't sure this rodent had all his marbles. He kept doing wacky things like dropping the reins to blow his nose. Or SCRATCH his whiskers. Or eat a breath mint.

Each time the sled went into a slide, I began to squeak. "WATCH the road, I mean the snow, I mean be careful!" I cried. Each time, he would burst out laughing. Did I say something funny? I wasn't trying to be funny. I was just trying to stay alive! Why, oh, why had I climbed onto this sled? I could have walked. I had two paws. So it might have taken me a little longer to get somewhere. So what? At least I wouldn't end up flattened in a sled crash. I could just see the headlines now: STILTON SQUISHED TO SMITHEREENS IN SLED ACCIDENT! PUBLISHER SLIDES OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH! I shivered. What a way to go. What a NIGHTMARE. what a strange glowing light in the distance! Could it be a gas station? I blinked back

tears. Holey cheese! It was! I stopped myself from breaking into a song and dance. I didn't want to set off the madmouse at the reins. He screeched to a stop in front of the pump. I POPPED OUT OF THE SLED as fast as my quivering paws could take me. "Thank you!" I squeaked. Sled Mouse grinned. Then he took off. I must say, I wasn't entirely sad to see him go. But now I had a new PROBLEM. How would I get back to the camper? I filled up my can with gas and paid the attendant. The attendant introduced me to a mouse who was filling up his snowmobile. He offered me a ride. Before getting on, I asked him a few questions. "You're a safe driver, right?" I said. "You don't go FAST, right?"

He laughed as if to say, "I'm the safest driver on the planet." Then he said something in Ratzikistani and gave me a crash helmet. Uh-oh. I wasn't feeling good about this. But what choice did I have? I had to get back to the camper. Oh, why had I left it in the first place? With a SIGH, I climbed onto the snowmobile. We took off like a pair of schoolmice on the first day of summer VACATION.