13-FIVE POUNDS OF CHEDDAR

FIVE POUNDS OF CHEDDAR The next day, we left at dawn. I pointed Grandfather in the right direction. For once, he listened to me. What a SHOCK. Maybe he was feeling sick. I didn't ask. I was just happy to be moving again. "Oh, I'm a traveling mouse! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I'm a traveling mouse!" Grandfather William sang. I groaned. Granddad's singing sounded like the shrieks of a mouse with his tail caught in a trap. We drove farther and farther north.

The landscape began to change. Instead of green trees and bushes, there were snow covered valleys. Icy mountains dotted the horizon. I noticed that the sunlight was getting dimmer and dimmer. It seemed we had left fall behind and headed straight into winter. And it wasn't just any old winter. It was the coldest winter on the planet. At lunch, we stopped for a break. I put on my thermal underwear. I put on my heavy parka. I put on my cat-fur hood. But nothing kept the cold out. The air froze my whiskers. I had to defrost them back in the camper. We drove on and on. Weeks went by. Finally, one day, a road sign EMERGED through the fog. R-A-T-Z-L-K-L-S-T-A-N

"Ratzikistan! Cheese niblets, I did it! We're here!" Grandfather William exclaimed. He pulled over. "I must find a supermarket immediately," Tina declared. I stared out into the fog. "Something tells me there aren't any supermarkets in Ratzikistan," I told her. "In case you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of nowhere!" Tina snorted. She grabbed her canvas shopping bag (no paper bags for Tina). Then she jumped out of the camper. She looked around. Then she began hiking

toward a dirty little shop on the corner. Rotting fruit and piles of smelly fish filled the shopwindow. Inside, there were crates and boxes everywhere. What a dump. I peered into one of the CRATES. It was filled with jelly jars. I picked one up. Little white balls of something floated in a murky liquid. They looked just like eyeballs. I gulped. An army of ants crawled out the side of another box. Each ant carried a piece of smelly green cheese. My stomach lurched. Ears of shriveled corn on the cob stuck out of a wicker basket. I pulled one out and shrieked. It was covered with tiny worms! By now, I was feeling faint. Did I tell you I'm afraid of ants? Did I tell you I'm afraid of worms? Did I tell you I'm not too crazy about electric toothbrushes, either? Oh, but that's another story

I watched as Tina marched up to the rodent behind the counter. He had a crooked tail and a crooked smile. She pulled out a long shopping list. "I'll need five pounds of your best cheddar! Six jars of your finest sardines! And three loaves of your freshest SEVEN-GRAIN BREAD!" she barked. The rodent dropped his crooked smile. His EYES opened wide. Still, he didn't say a word. After all, what could he say? It was clear they didn't have those things in this

store. "Forget it, Tina," I whispered. "I told you this is not a regular supermarket. THERE ARE NO SUPERMARKETS IN RATZIKISTAN." Tina stamped her paw. One thing you should know about Grandfather's housekeeper. She never takes no for an answer. And I mean never. Once a waiter told Tina that she could not meet the chef at her favorite Italian restaurant, Squeakolini's. She threw a fit. First she threw her napkin in the air. Then