9 Ch9-Sad, Depressed Mr. Klutz

Chapter 9 Sad, Depressed Mr. Klutz We were in the vomitorium eating lunch the next day I gave Michael my tuna sandwich, and Ryan gave me his cookies. I told Ryan that he might want to eat a few napkins for dessert, because he likes eating paper so much. He said I should shut up.

Me and Michael and Ryan promised we wouldn't tell anyone about Miss Lazar's weird toilet bowl plunger museum. If she found out that we knew, she would know we snuck into her secret room. I looked over at the next table where Andrea and her annoying friends sit. It had been a really long time since I both- ered her, so I thought that maybe I should bother her to stay in practice. The only problem was, Andrea had this sad look on her face. She looked so wor- ried, I didn't want to shoot a straw wrap- per at her or even hit her on the head with an empty milk carton. Andrea saw me looking and she came over to our

table with her annoying friend Emily. "I'm worried about Mr. Klutz," she said. "What about him?" I asked. "I think he's depressed," Andrea said. "I think he's jealous of Miss Lazar." "What?" Ryan said. "You're crazy." "Did you see the look on his face when Miss Lazar unclogged the toilet?" Andrea asked. "And when she climbed up to the roof? Did you ever see how he looks when we all cheer for Miss Lazar?" "He does look kind of sad," I agreed. "My mother is a psychologist," Andrea

said. "She told me all about this stuff. I think Mr. Klutz is depressed because the principal is supposed to rule the school, but everybody acts like Miss Lazar is the big hero all the time. It's almost like Miss Lazar is the real principal." "You're right," said Michael. "We've got to do something," said Emily. We thought and thought and thought about what we could do to cheer up Mr. Klutz. Andrea said we should do some- thing that would make Mr. Klutz feel like a hero for a change. Ryan said we should start an emergency. Michael remembered that Miss Lazar has the day off every

Wednesday and today was Wednesday. If we started an emergency, Mr. Klutz would have to be the hero. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's starting emergencies. So I tried to think of an emergency I could start. That's when I got the greatest idea in the history of the world. "Mr. Klutz said he used to be a rock climber, right?" I asked. "And when Miss Lazar climbed up the school, he said it was simple rock climbing. Well, let's throw something up on the roof of the school. Then we can ask Mr. Klutz to get it!" "That's a dumb idea," said Michael.

"That's the dumbest idea in the history of the world," said Ryan. "A.J., you're a genius!" said Andrea. "Oooooh!" Ryan said. "A.J. and Andrea are in love!" "When are you gonna get married?" asked Michael. "Shut up," I said.