6 Ch6-Welcome to Cafe LaGrange

Chapter 6 Welcome to Café LaGrange When we walked into the vomitorium, it looked completely different. I thought that maybe we were in the wrong place. The lights were turned down so low you could hardly see. There was a sign in the corner that said "Café LaGrange." The tables were covered with tablecloths and

fake candles that were really electric lights. There was even music! A few of the fifth graders in the orchestra were playing violins. It sounded like the noise you make when you pinch the end of a balloon and let the air out. "Oooh!" Emily said. "It's beautiful! It's like going to a fancy restaurant." If there's one thing I hate more than school and vegetables, it's going to fancy restaurants. But I didn't say anything. We were all on our best behavior because we wanted to make a good impression on Ms. LaGrange. "Wait until Ella Mentry comes to our school and sees this," Andrea said. "She's going to be really impressed."

Suddenly Ms. LaGrange came out of the kitchen. "Bonjour!" she said in that French talk. "Welcome to Café LaGrange." "Bonjour," we all said back. "The specials of the day are French Sloppy Joe sandwiches, French salisbury steak, French chili surprise, and French tuna casserole," said Ms. LaGrange. "It sounds yummy!" said Andrea, who compliments grown-ups no matter what they do. We got in line. It all looked like the same old disgusting foods to me, except that they had the word "French" in front of them. "Do you have any French peanut

butter and jelly sandwiches?" I asked. Whoever invented the peanut butter and jelly sandwich was a genius. "No, but I have French mashed pota- toes," Ms. LaGrange said. I looked at the mashed potatoes. They looked pretty normal, except for one thing. There were letters written in them. The letters were Y-A-W-Y-E. It didn't even spell a word. "Ms. LaGrange, what does 'YAWYE' mean?" asked Ryan. "Oh, that is my little secret," she replied. "Maybe I will tell you someday. Who would like to try French peas and carrots?"

"Me! Me! Me!" said Andrea, who loves every horrible-tasting thing that's good for you. "Not me," I said. "Did you ever try peas or carrots, Mister A.J.?"

"No." "Well, how do you know you don't like them if you don't try them?" she asked. "I never tried eating dirt," I said, "but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like that." "Won't you please try my peas and car- rots, Mister A.J.," she said. "Pretty please?" "No!" Suddenly Ms. LaGrange picked up one of those spray bottles that lunch ladies use to clean off the tables. She pointed it at me. Then she squirted water in my face! "Hey!" I shouted. "What's the big idea?" "Anyone who refuses to try peas and carrots will be sprayed," said Ms. LaGrange.