3 Ch3-The New Lunch Lady

Chapter 3 The New Lunch Lady In the morning before school! I filled my backpack with all the stuff I would need during the day— cookies, chips, candy, pret- zels, and other junk food. Miss Daisy always says we should be prepared. I wanted to be prepared in case there was no lunch lady. I didn't want to starve and die.

It was hard to concentrate all morning when we were doing math and DEAR. That stands for Drop Everything And Read. I was trying to read a book about jet planes, but I couldn't stop thinking about all the great food I had in my back- pack. In social studies we started learning about the pyramids and ancient Egypt. Did you know that when people died back then, they would take their brains out through their noses and turn them into mummies? It's true! I was glad I brought stuff from home to eat. Because I'm sure that if I starved and died at school, Andrea would try to take

my brain out through my nose and turn me into a mummy. After social studies we started making a big banner for Ella Mentry. It said

"Welcome, Ella Mentry," and we spent the rest of the morning drawing little pic- tures all over it. "What do you think the new lunch lady will be like?" somebody asked as we worked on the banner. "I hope she's nice," Emily said. "She's got to be nicer than Mrs. McGillicuddy," Ryan said. I wasn't thinking about the new lunch lady. I kept thinking about those mum- mies in Egypt. I decided I will never pick my nose again. I don't want to pull my brain out by accident. Finally Miss Daisy sang the cleanup song and said it was time for the cleanest

school in the district to get ready for lunch. "Yay!" everybody yelled. We washed our hands and lined up in size order. Then we walked in single file to the vomitorium. Andrea was the line leader. We all walked really fast because we couldn't wait to meet the new lunch lady. "I hope she doesn't make those rubber hot dogs like Mrs. McGillicuddy," Ryan said. "Or those chicken nuggets that bounce," said Michael. "Or the nachos that glow in the dark," I added.

"People who want to lose weight should come to our school," Ryan said. "Because once you take a look at the food, you never want to eat again." "A little less chitchatting please," Miss Daisy said. Miss Daisy doesn't eat with us in the vomitorium. She eats in the teachers' lounge, which is a secret clubhouse where the teachers put on bathing suits and eat in a big hot tub. I hear they have a disco ball, too. In the vomitorium the other grown-ups are on lunch duty! like Ms. Hannah, the art teacher; Mr. Docker, the science teacher; Miss Small the gym teacher; and Mr. Loring, the music