3 Ch3-My Big Decision

Chapter 3 My Big Decision "She made you balance a yardstick on your nose?" Ryan asked. He couldn't believe it. "I had to cluck like a chicken, too," I said. "Mrs. Cooney is loony!" said Michael. We were sitting around the vomitorium

eating lunch. I gave Ryan my disgusting applesauce and he gave me his cupcake, Ryan will eat anything. Ryan and Michael told me that after math was over, Miss Daisy taught the class about vowels. "Vowels are the letters a, e, i, o, and u," Michael told me. "I thought vowels were e, i, e, i, o," I

said. "Like in 'Old MacDonald Had a Farm.'" "Sometimes y is a vowel," added Ryan. "Sometimes?" I asked. "Well, is y a vowel or isn't it?" "Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't," Michael said. "I think y should make up its mind," I said. It was time to clean off our table. It was also time for me to tell the guys about my big decision. I had been thinking about it all during lunch. I was thinking about it so much I could barely enjoy Ryan's cup- cake. "Guys," I said. "You're my best friends,

so I have to let you in on a secret. Promise not to tell anyone?" "Promise," promised Ryan and Michael. "When I grow up," I said, "I'm gonna marry Mrs. Cooney." "Oooh!" Ryan shouted. "A.J. and Mrs. Cooney are in love!" "Shut up!" I said. "You promised!" "A.J. girls have cooties!" Michael said. "Everybody knows that." "Only little girls have cooties," I told him. "Grown-up girls don't have cooties. And even if they did, I'm sure Mrs. Cooney has a cootie cure. She is a trained nurse, you know." I never should have told Ryan and

Michael my big news. "Maybe Mrs. Cooney will want to marry me," Ryan said. "Hey, I thought of marrying her first," I said. "Maybe she'll marry all of us," said Michael. Suddenly, at the next table, Miss Smarty-Pants Know-it-All Who Should Have an Elevator Fall on Her Head turned around. "You silly dumbheads," Andrea said. "Mrs. Cooney is already married!" "What?" we all said. "How do you know?" "That's why she's called Mrs. Cooney!"

Andrea said. "If she wasn't married, she'd be called Miss Cooney." Andrea thinks she knows so much. And now she knows I'm in love with Mrs. Cooney. I wish I could punch her. As we scraped our trays into the garbage can. Ryan and Michael decided that they would marry Mrs. Cooney even if she was already married. They said that they were going to pretend to be sick so they could go see Mrs. Cooney too. "Hey, that was my idea!" I complained. "It was a good idea," said Michael.