5 Ch5-The Scary, Dead Zombie Buffalo

Chapter 5 The Scary, Dead Zombie Buffalo Ms. Krup took a bunch of flashlights out of a box and gave one to each of us. Then we went off to search for the missing T. rex. Everybody was whispering and slinking around like secret agents. It was cool. Me and the guys pointed our flashlights up from our chins and made scary faces at the girls. "The first floor of the museum is where we keep most of our dioramas," said Ms. Krup. "I had diorama once," I told her. "My mom gave me some yucky pink medicine and it went away." "That's 'diarrhea,' dumbhead!" Andrea said. "You had diarrhea." "So does your face," I said. Those diorama things were cool. Each one was a little room with animal statues and scenery behind glass. We saw pandas, gorillas, monkeys, beavers, reindeer, bighorn sheep, polar bears, and a moose.

The sign next to the moose said it weighs a half a ton and eats 20,000 leaves a day. That thing should definitely go to Weight Watchers. But next to the moose was a buffalo, and it was even bigger. We pressed our noses against the glass so we could see it better. "It looks so real," Andrea said. "It is real," Ms. Krup told us. "These animals aren't statues. They're the real thing." "That means they're... dead?" asked Michael. "That's right," said Ms. Krup. Just then I thought I heard scary music playing in the background. It was like a movie I saw once. Somebody said the word "dead" and scary music

started playing. "I'm scared," said Emily. "If that thing was a zombie buffalo," I whispered, "it could jump out at us. And then we'd become zombies, too." "My uncle lives in Buffalo," said Neil the nude kid. "Your uncle lives in a buffalo?" I asked. "Why doesn't he live in a house like a normal person?" "It's Buffalo, New York!" said Andrea. "I knew that," I lied. It would be weird to live in a buffalo. "I know a song about buffaloes," Emily said. "Would you like to sing it for us asked Ms. Krup. Emily nodded and began to sing: "Oh give me a home Where the buffalo roam, Where the deer And the cantaloupe play...." Well, everybody just about died laughing. I slapped my head. "It's not 'cantaloupe,' dumbhead!" I told Emily. "It's 'ante lope.' Cantaloupes can't play. They're melons!" Emily started crying, of course. What a crybaby! I bet she would've run away, too, if there weren't scary dead animals all over the place.

Ms. Krup made us tell Emily we were sorry. Next to the buffalo was another diorama with some skunks and an opossum in it. "These are nocturnal animals," Ms. Krup told us. "Does anybody know what 'nocturnal' means?" Needless to say, Miss Smarty-Pants-Know-It-All was waving her hand in the air. "Nocturnal animals sleep during the day and come out at night," Andrea said, all proud of herself. Why doesn't a nocturnal animal fall on her head? I hate her. "That's right, Andrea!" said Ms. Krup. "Some people claim that our nocturnal friends walk around the museum in the middle of the night." "That's scary!" Emily said. It is not. That girl thinks everything is scary. Ms. Krup showed us the rest of the dioramas on the first floor. But we never found the missing T. rex. "What's in that room, Ms. Krup?" Andrea asked when we passed a door next to the stairs. "Oh, that's a secret room," Ms. Krup replied. "Ooooh, what's in The Secret Room?" we all asked. "If I told you," said Ms. Krup, "then it wouldn't be secret." "PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?" Any time a grown-up won't tell you something, just say "Please" until they can't stand it anymore. That's the first rule of being a kid.

"Hmmm," Ms. Krup finally said. "Are you boys and girls really good at keeping secrets?" "Yes!" we all shouted. "Well," said Ms. Krup, "so am I." And she started climbing up the stairs to the second floor. Bummer in the summer!