12 Ch12-The Amazing World of Poop

Chapter 12 The Amazing World of Poop I looked around the room. It was a whole exhibit devoted to poop! Nothing but poop! "I never thought I'd see poop in a museum," Emily said. "Oh, poop is a fascinating part of natural history," Ms. Krup told us. We all laughed, because whenever a grown-up says "poop," you can't help but laugh. Ms. Krup cracks me up! "Poop can reveal what an animal eats, how it digests food, and whether or not it's sick," Ms. Krup said. "Some animals use poop to tell enemies to stay away. Others use it like perfume to attract mates." "Ew!" we all said. "Gross!" Ms. Krup walked around and showed us the displays she made. I had never seen anyone who was so excited about poop. "Did you know that the most expensive coffee in the world comes from Palm Civet poop in Indonesia?" Ms. Krup asked us. "It costs a hundred and seventy-five dollars a pound." "I'm glad my parents drink tea," said Michael.

"Really?" Ms. Krup said. "In China they make some tea from caterpillar poop." "That's the last time I go to a Chinese restaurant!" I exclaimed. Ms. Krup showed us a picture of a sloth. "It only poops once a week," she said. "That happened to my dad once," said Emily. "He had to go to the doctor." "A week isn't so long," Ms. Krup told us. "Grizzly bears may go six months without pooping." "No wonder they're so mad!" I said. "African elephants can produce three hundred pounds of poop every day!" Ms. Krup said.

"Wow!" said Andrea. "What do they do with all that poop?" "Well, in some pans of Africa and Asia, elephant poop is made into paper." "I hope they don't make it into toilet paper," I said. "Because that would just be weird." "Do you know what else is weird?" Ms. Krup said. "Rabbits eat their own poop!" "Ew, disgusting!" we all shouted. "And termites glue their houses together with poop." "Hey, Andrea," I said, "didn't your dad do that to your house?" "Oh, snap!" said Michael. "That's mean, Arlo!" "Dung beetles push balls of poop around and bury it," Ms. Krup told us. "Sounds like one of Arlo's playdates," Andrea said. "Oh, snap!" said Michael. "Storks squirt poop on their legs in hot weather to cool off," Ms. Krup said. "So does Andrea," I said. We pushed buttons to watch cool videos of animals pooping. Did you know that a rhinoceros stomps on its poop and kicks it around? It's hilarious. And some boy cranes fling buffalo poop up in the air to impress girl cranes. "Don't even think about it, Arlo," said Andrea. "People throw poop around, too," Ms. Krup told us. "In Wisconsin they

have cow chip— tossing contests. One man threw a cow chip more than half the length of a football field." "Remind me not to play football on that field," said Michael. "People in Wisconsin are weird," I said. I had no idea that poop could be so interesting. We got to match poop samples with the animals that pooped them. Then we got to touch an eighty- million-year-old piece of dinosaur poop. Ms. Krup showed us some poop under a microscope too. And we got to push buttons on a map to learn the word for "poop" in different countries. "Poop is a palindrome," Ms. Krup said. "Does anybody know what a palindrome is?" Andrea was waving her dumb hand in the air like she had to go to the bathroom really badly, which would have made perfect sense in "The Amazing World of Poop"! But Ms. Krup called on me instead. So nah-nah- nah boo-boo on Andrea. "A palindrome is when you make friends with bees," I said. "My pal is a drone." "Not exactly," Ms. Krup said. "Andrea?"

"A palindrome is a word that's spelled the same way forward and backward," she said. "That's right!" Why can't three hundred pounds of elephant poop fall on Andrea's head forward and backward? "You sure know a lot about poop, Ms. Krup," said Emily. "Poop is my life," Ms. Krup replied. People who like poop that much are weird. But "The Amazing World of Poop" was really cool. We learned more than anybody would ever want to know about poop. And Ms. Krup said the word "poop" so many times, it didn't even sound funny anymore. It was really late. Ms. Krup took us back to the Giganotosaurus, and we climbed into our sleeping bags. Finally, I fell asleep. I dreamed about a giant poop that was riding a bicycle. And it was making some weird sound. A buzzing sound. No, it was a swishing sound. No, no, I got it. It was a hissing sound.