6 Ch6-Klutzstock

Chapter 6 Klutzstock My mother wouldn't drive me to Antarctica to live with the penguins. "Why not?" I asked. "Because I don't want to miss the big love festival!" she said. "All the other par- ents are going to be there!" It was the worst day of the year—

Valentine's Day. The L day! And to make things even worse, I had to go to school with my mom. When we got to the field behind Ella Mentry School, there was a big sign across the soccer goal: WELCOME TO KLUTZSTOCK! A stage was set up with speakers on each side. Parents, teachers, and kids were spreading out blankets on the grass. Some of them were dressed like hippies. Everybody was making peace signs and saying stuff like "Groovy!" and "Far-out!" Andrea and Emily saw me and came over. They were wearing tie-dyed shirts, sandals, headbands, and flowers in their hair.

"Isn't this groovy, Arlo?" said Andrea. "We're flower children!" "Far-out!" Emily said. Ugh! They were even more annoying than usual. I got away from them and walked around until I spotted Michael, Ryan, and Neil the nude kid. "Who do you think the surprise guest is gonna be?" Neil asked. "I bet it'll be our old music teacher, Mr.

Hynde," Ryan said. "Remember when he came back to school and—" Ryan didn't get the chance to finish his sentence, because Mr. Louie got up onstage and started talking into the microphone. "Walnut Street is closed, man!" he said "Far-out!" "Far-out!" everybody yelled. "Happy Valentine's Day," Mr. Louie said. "We're here to groove on three hours of peace and music. So kick back and dig the vibes. If you get thirsty, be sure to use the water fountain next to the stage." The first act was Mr. Klutz. He played

"The Star-Spangled Banner" on a kazoo. Everybody clapped. Miss Holly, the Spanish teacher, came out with a basket of fruit on her head. She sang a love song in Spanish. Miss Patty, the school secretary, played an accordion. Ms. Coco, the gifted and talented teacher, read a love poem while Ms. Hannah played a bongo drum. A bunch of the other teachers got up and sang. Mostly they were terrible. But everybody in the crowd clapped anyway. We didn't want to hurt their feelings. Between songs, me and the guys kept going to the water fountain to get drinks.

"And now it's time for our special sur- prise guest," announced Mr. Louie. "Put your hands together for my favorite rock- and-roll band of all time... KISS!" Everybody went crazy when four guys in big boots and weird makeup got up on stage with guitars. "Far-out!" somebody in the crowd yelled. Then we realized it wasn't the real Kiss. It was our librarian, Mrs. Roopy; the bus driver, Mrs. Kormel; our science teacher, Mr. Docker; and our gym teacher, Miss Small. They were all dressed up like Kiss. Then they started playing— really loud! Mrs. Roopy was the lead singer.