3 Ch3-Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

Chapter 3 Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too A few days before Valentine's Day, we had to bring in valentines for the whole class. When I crossed Walnut Street with the guys, Mr. Louie held up his stop-sign guitar. He told us he was excited about the big Valentine's Day festival he was organizing.

情人节前几天，我们得给全班同学带情人节礼物。 当我和朋友们穿过核桃街时，路易先生举起了他的停车标志吉他。 他告诉我们，他对他正在组织的盛大情人节感到兴奋。

"It's gonna be groovy," Mr. Louie said. "I'm lining up some big musical acts!" "Like who?" Ryan asked. "Dig this," Mr. Louie said. "So far I've got Miss Holly, Mr. Docker, Mr. Loring, Ms. Hannah, Miss Small..." "Those aren't musical acts," Michael said. "They're teachers!" "We're gonna have a special surprise guest too," Mr. Louie said. But he wouldn't tell us who it was. When we got to school, Miss Daisy and Mr. Macky were walking up the steps together. Miss Daisy was carrying a heartshaped cake with bonbons on top. That's her favorite kind of candy.

“肯定会很棒，”路易说。 “我要安排一些大型音乐表演!”“像谁?”瑞恩问道。 “挖这个，”路易说。 “到目前为止，我已经找到了霍莉小姐、多克先生、洛林先生。 汉娜，斯莫尔小姐……”“那些不是音乐表演，”迈克尔说。 “他们老师!”“我们还会有一位特别的惊喜嘉宾，”路易说。 但他不肯告诉我们是谁。 当我们到达学校时，黛西小姐和麦基先生正一起走上台阶。 黛西小姐拿着一个心形的蛋糕，上面有糖果。 那是她最喜欢的糖果。

"Do you have a special valentine, A.J.?" Mr. Macky asked me. "No," I told him. "Valentines are dumb." Actually, I did have a special valentine. My valentine is Mrs. Cooney, our school nurse. She is beautiful. Her eyes are like cotton candy. I would marry her when I grow up, but she's already married to some guy named Mr. Cooney. Bummer in the summer! When we got to class, everybody wanted to eat cake. But Miss Daisy said we had to do writing first. I hate writing. She told us to take out our valentine cards and a pencil. We had to write one thing we liked about every person in

“你有特别的情人吗，A.J.?”麦基先生问我。 “不，”我告诉他。“情人节是愚蠢的。” 事实上，我有一个特别的情人节。 我的情人是库尼太太，我们学校的护士。 她很漂亮。她的眼睛像棉花糖。 我长大后想娶她，但她已经嫁给一个叫库尼先生的人了。 夏天的流浪者!当我们去上课时，每个人都想吃蛋糕。 但是黛西小姐说我们得先写点东西。 我讨厌写作。她让我们拿出情人节贺卡和铅笔。 我们必须写一件我们喜欢每个人的事情

the class. I wrote Ryan's card first. It was easy: I liked if when you ate the seat cushion on the school bus. Then I wrote Michael's card: I liked it when we watched the Super Bowl on your big-screen TV. Then I wrote a card for Neil, who we call Neil the nude kid even though he wears clothes: I liked it when you brought your ferret to school and it pooped on Emily's head.

类。我先写了瑞恩的卡片。 这很简单:我喜欢你在校车上吃坐垫的样子。 然后我写了迈克尔的卡片:我喜欢我们在你的大屏幕电视上看超级碗的时候。 然后我给尼尔写了一张卡片，我们管他叫裸体小孩尼尔，尽管他穿着衣服:我喜欢你把你的雪貂带到学校，它在艾米丽的头上拉屎。

It was harder to think of something I liked about the girls. This is what I wrote on Emily's card: I liked it when that children's book author visited our school and her pet raptor attacked you. I picked up Andrea's card. It was the hardest of all. I couldn't think of anything I liked about Andrea. My mom always tells me that if you don't have anything nice to say about somebody, don't say anything at all. But I had to write something on Andrea's card. So I wrote this: I liked it when you were absent on Take Our Daughters to Work Day.

很难想出我喜欢这些女孩的什么地方。 这是我在艾米丽的卡片上写的:我喜欢那个儿童读物作者访问我们学校时，她的宠物猛禽袭击了你。 我拿起安德里亚的名片。 这是最难的。 我想不出安德里亚有什么让我喜欢的。 我妈妈总是告诉我，如果你对某人没有什么好话可说，那就什么都别说。 但我得在安德里亚的卡片上写点什么。 所以我写了这封信:我喜欢你不在“带女儿去上班日”。

Miss Daisy collected all the cards and sorted them while we did a math work sheet. Then she passed out all the valentines. Emily looked at me. She was holding my card. Then she started crying and went running out of the room. Sheesh, get a grip! What a crybaby! It wasn't my fault she got attacked by a raptor. Andrea was reading my card too. "That's horrible, Arlo!" she said. "So is your face," I told her. "You know, Arlo," Andrea said, "my mother says that when a boy acts mean to a girl, it means he's secretly in love

当我们做数学作业时，黛西小姐收集了所有的卡片并把它们分类。 然后她把情人节贺卡都发了。 艾米丽看着我。她拿着我的名片。 然后她哭了起来，跑出了房间。 嘿，控制一下!真是个爱哭鬼!她被猛禽袭击又不是我的错。 安德里亚也在看我的卡片。 “太可怕了，阿乐!”她说。 “你的脸也是，”我告诉她。 “你知道吗，阿乐，”安德里亚说，“我妈妈说，当一个男孩对一个女孩表现得刻薄时，那就意味着他暗恋着一个女孩