8 Ch8-Far-out, Man!

Chapter 8 Far-out, Man! The next day it was more of the same at school. No talking. No smiling. No laughing. No fun. Since it was raining at three o'clock, I thought Dr. Carbles might let us skip the after-school march. But he didn't When the bell rang, he led us out onto the playground and made us march around in the rain. It was horrible. "Left! Right! Left! Right!" barked Dr. Carbles. "You kids are a disgrace!" Finally he let us go home, I walked with Ryan and Michael. We were soaked. "It's not fair!" Ryan said, as we crossed the street next to the school. "What's not fair?" somebody asked. It was Mr. Louie, the school crossing guard. He wears bell-bottom pants and tie-dyed shirts, and he always has his guitar with him. Well, actually it's a stop sign. He wrote the word STOP in big letters on the back of his guitar.

We told Mr. Louie all about Dr. Carbles. "Bummer, man!" Mr. Louie said. "That dude gives off bad vibes." "And there's nothing we can do about it," Michael said. "Sure there is!" Mr. Louie told us. "You should protest! That's what they did back in the Sixties, man. It was far-out! Peace and love were in the air. People changed the world by protesting. You can change your world, too!" It sounded like a great idea. I invited Mr. Louie over to my house after school so he could teach me and the guys how to protest like they did in the Sixties. Mr. Louie told us that the way to change the world is to sing songs, chant slogans, and hold up signs. Michael made a sign that said POWER TO THE PEOPLE. Ryan made a sign that said DON'T TRUST ANYONE OVER 12. I made a sign that said CARBLES IS LOSING HIS MARBLES! While we were working on our signs, Mr. Louie taught us some protest songs, like "Blowin' in the Wind," and "If I Had a Hammer." I don't get that hammer song. It's about some guy who wants a hammer. Why doesn't he just go to a hardware store and buy one? Hammers don't cost that much. Instead of singing about hammers, I think we should sing "If I

Had a Snowboard" or "If I Had an Xbox." That would make a lot more sense than singing about hammers, if you ask me. Anyway, when me and the guys got to school the next morning, we were ready to protest. We marched around with our signs. We chanted slogans. We sang songs. We were in the middle of "If I Had a Snowboard" when Andrea came over to us. "What are you dumbheads doing?" she asked. "We're protesting, man!" I said. "We're gonna change the world!" "You probably don't even change your underwear, Arlo," said Andrea, and she went up the steps to school. "CARBLES NEVER! KLUTZ FOREVER!" chanted Ryan. "TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT— WHO DO WE APPRECIATE?" chanted Michael. "KLUTZ! KLUTZ! KLUTZ!" A bunch of kids gathered around to watch. Some of them joined our protest. A few of the teachers joined in, too. Soon we had a big mob protesting. Everything was going great!

And then, you'll never guess in a million hundred years what came rolling out of the playground. I'm not going to tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. It was a tank! No, not a fish tank, dumbhead. It was one of those big army tanks. And it was heading our way! The top of the tank opened up, and Dr. Carbles's head popped out. "GO TO YOUR CLASSROOMS, NOW!" Dr. Carbies hollered into his bullhorn. "I WILL CRUSH YOUR REBELLION!" Wow! Where do you think Dr. Carbles got a tank? I guess he rented it. You can rent anything, you know. There's probably a place called Rent-a- Tank. Dr. Carbles was driving the tank straight at us. "He wouldn't dare run us over," Michael said.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Dr. Carbies shouted. "OR YOU WILL BE LOCKED IN THE DUNGEON ON THE THIRD FLOOR!" The tank was getting closer! We didn't know what to say! We didn't know what to do! We had to think fast! "Run for your lives!" I shouted just as the tank was about to rumble over us.