7 Ch7-The Truth About Dr. Carbles

Chapter 7 The Truth About Dr. Carbles Well, I had to admit that Andrea came through for us. Her mother got Mr. Klutz's address, and on Saturday we all piled into her van to go visit him. The van was big enough to hold Andrea, Emily, me, Ryan, Michael, and Neil the nude kid. Andrea's mom needs a big van because she is always taking Andrea and her annoying girly friends to dance lessons and cooking lessons and piano lessons and every other kind of lessons they have. If they gave lessons on how to clip your toenails, Andrea would take them so she could get better at it. I was really surprised when we got to Mr. Klutz's address. I thought he would live in a castle, since he was king of the school. But it was just a regular old house. Ryan rang the doorbell, and a lady came out. "May I help you?" she asked. "I'm Karla Klutz."

第七章约翰博士的真相 卡伯斯:我得承认安德里亚帮了我们大忙。 她的母亲得到了克鲁茨先生的地址，星期六我们都挤进她的面包车去看望他。 货车足够大，能装下安德里亚，艾米丽，我，瑞恩，迈克尔，还有那个裸体小孩尼尔。 安德里亚的妈妈需要一辆大货车，因为她总是带着安德里亚和她那些烦人的女朋友去上舞蹈课、烹饪课、钢琴课和其他各种各样的课。 如果他们教如何剪脚趾甲，安德里亚会去上课，这样她就能做得更好。 当我们到达克鲁茨先生的地址时，我真的很惊讶。 我原以为他会住在城堡里，因为他是学校的校长。 但那只是一栋普通的老房子。 赖安按了门铃，一位女士走了出来。 “我能帮你吗?”她问。 “我是卡拉·克鲁茨。”

Wow! Mr. Klutz never told us he had a wife! I wonder if she knew her husband was going to marry a turkey. "Is Mr. Klutz home?" Andrea's mom asked. "Yes, please come inside." She led us into the living room. And you'll never believe in a million hundred years what we saw in there. It was a half-pipe! Mr. Klutz had a giant half-pipe right in the middle of his living room! Not only that, but he was skateboarding on it! He did a frontside 180 ollie and a handstand fingerflip and a coconut wheelie. He was really good! "Wooooo-hooooooooooooo!" yelled Mr. Klutz. "Watch this!"

哇!克鲁茨先生从没告诉过我们他有老婆!我不知道她是否知道她丈夫要娶一个火鸡。 “克鲁茨先生在家吗?”安德里亚的妈妈问。 “是的，请进来。” 她把我们领进客厅。 你永远也不会相信我们在那里看到了什么。 那是半管滑道!克鲁茨先生在他的客厅中央放了一个巨大的半管滑道!不仅如此，他还在上面玩滑板!他做了一个前180奥利，一个倒立手指翻和一个椰子轮。 他真的很棒!“呜——呜——呜——呜!”克鲁茨先生喊道。 “看这个!”

He tried to do an inverted nosegrab, but he messed up, and it turned into a spectacular faceplant. "Are you okay?" we all asked as we ran over to help him. "Of course!" he said. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" (That's grown-up talk for "What are you doing here?" "We were afraid you'd be depressed," Andrea told him, "so we came to cheer you up." "Me? Depressed?" said Mr. Klutz. "I've never been happier! I don't have to write reports anymore or deal with crazy teachers, pushy parents, or obnoxious kids. Finally, I have time to chase my dream." "What's your dream?" Neil the nude kid asked. "To become a championship skateboarder," Mr. Klutz said. "Cool!" said all the boys. "But you're a great principal!" said Andrea, who never misses the chance to brownnose a grown-up. "We need you back at school." "Dr. Carbles is driving us crazy," Michael said. "Yes, Milton can be a bit hard to deal with," said Mr. Klutz. "Milton?!" I said. "He told me his name was Frank!" "I don't know about that," said Mr. Klutz, "but do you know why he fired me?" "Because you wear diapers?" I asked. "No," Mr. Klutz said. "Milton and I grew up together. He was my rival when we were teenagers. We were the two best skaters on the local skateboarding team. Then one day we got into an argument and I called him Walrus Face. From then on, everybody called him Walrus Face. He's been

他试着做一个倒立的抓鼻子动作，但他搞砸了，结果变成了一个壮观的面部植入。 “你还好吗?”我们跑过去帮助他时问道。 “当然!”他说。“什么风把您吹来了?”(这是成年人说的“你在这儿干什么?”“我们担心你会沮丧，”安德里亚告诉他，“所以我们来让你高兴起来。” “我?沮丧?”克鲁兹说。 “我从来没有这么快乐过!”我不用再写报告，也不用再应付疯狂的老师、咄咄逼人的父母或讨厌的孩子。 我终于有时间追逐我的梦想了。” “你的梦想是什么?”裸体小孩尼尔问道。 “为了成为一名冠军滑板运动员，”克鲁茨说。 “酷!”所有的男孩都说。 “但你是一个伟大的校长!”安德烈说，她从不错过拍大人马屁的机会。 “我们需要你回学校。” “卡伯斯博士快把我们逼疯了，”迈克尔说。 “是的，弥尔顿可能有点难对付，”克鲁茨说。 “弥尔顿? !”我说。“他告诉我他叫弗兰克!”“这我不知道，”克鲁茨先生说，“但你知道他为什么解雇我吗?”“因为你穿尿布?”我问。 “不，”克鲁茨说。“弥尔顿和我一起长大。 我们十几岁的时候，他是我的对手。 我们是当地滑板队里最好的两个选手。 后来有一天我们吵了起来，我叫他海象脸。 从那以后，大家都叫他海象脸。 他一直

out to get me ever since." "That's an insult," I said, "to walruses!" "Hold on," said Andrea. "Dr. Carbles has been out to get you all these years just because you gave him a silly nickname?" "There's more to it than that," Mr. Klutz told us. "Milton was also jealous of me because he went bald at a very young age and I had a full head of hair." "YOU HAD A FULL HEAD OF HAIR?!" we all said at the same time. Mr. Klutz has no hair at all. I mean none. "Did you think I was born this way?" Mr. Klutz asked. Mrs. Klutz brought out a photo album with pictures of Mr. Klutz as a teenager. He had hair down to his shoulders! "That's sad that your hair stopped growing," said Emily. It looked like there were tears in her eyes. What a crybaby!

从那以后，他就一直在找我。” “这是对海象的侮辱!”我说。“等一下，”安德烈说。 “卡伯斯博士这么多年来一直在找你麻烦，就因为你给他取了个可笑的绰号?”“事情远不止这些，”克鲁兹告诉我们。 “弥尔顿也很嫉妒我，因为他很年轻的时候就秃顶了，而我有一头浓密的头发。” “你有一头浓密的头发?!”我们异口同声地说。 克鲁茨先生根本没有头发。 我是说没有。“你以为我生来就是这样吗?”克鲁茨问道。 克鲁茨夫人拿出一本相册，里面有克鲁茨先生十几岁时的照片。 他的头发垂到肩膀!“真可惜，你的头发不长了，”艾米丽说。 她的眼里好像含着泪水。 真是个爱哭鬼!

"Oh, it didn't stop growing," Mr. Klutz told us. "It still grows. Only now it grows out of my ears and nose. I have to trim it every week." Ew, disgusting! I thought I was gonna throw up. "Wait a minute," Andrea said. "Dr. Carbles isn't bald." "Yes he is," said Mr. Klutz. "He wears a toupee. Shhhh! Don't tell him I told you. If people found out he's bald, it would drive him crazy." Andrea's mother said it was time for us to go. Mr. Klutz thanked us for coming. Just before we pulled out of the driveway, Mrs. Klutz came running over to the van. "He's driving me crazy at home!" she said. "You've got to get him back to school!"

“哦，它并没有停止增长，”克鲁茨告诉我们。 “它还在增长。只是现在它从我的耳朵和鼻子里长出来了。 我每周都要修剪它。” 电子战,恶心!我以为我要吐了。 “等一下，”安德烈说。 “卡伯斯博士不是秃头。”“是的，他是，”克鲁茨说。 “他戴着一顶假发。嘘!别告诉他是我告诉你的。 如果人们发现他秃顶了，他会发疯的。” 安德里亚的妈妈说我们该走了。 克鲁茨先生感谢我们的光临。 就在我们驶出车道之前，克鲁茨太太跑到货车跟前。 “他在家里快把我逼疯了!”她说。 “你得把他送回学校!”