5 Ch5-Being Frank

Chapter 5 Being Frank The next morning everybody was wearing the official school uniform. The boys had on light blue shirts, blue pants, and blue ties. The girls had on blue skirts with stripes on them. I looked like a dork. But everybody looked like a dork, so I didn't feel so bad. We were putting our backpacks away when Mrs. Patty's voice came over the loudspeaker. "A.J., please report to Dr. Carbles's office." "Ooooooooooooooh!" everybody went. "A.J. is absent today," I lied. "Get down here, A.J.," said Mrs. Patty. "Ooooooooooooooh!" "You're in trouble, Arlo," said Andrea. Dr. Carbles is going to send you to jail."

第二天早上，每个人都穿着正式的校服。 男孩们穿着浅蓝色的衬衫，蓝色的裤子，系着蓝色的领带。 女孩们穿着有条纹的蓝裙子。 我看起来像个笨蛋。但每个人看起来都像个笨蛋，所以我没觉得太糟。 我们正把书包收起来，扩音器里传来帕蒂夫人的声音。 “a.j.，请向医生报告。 Carbles办公室。”“呜——呜——呜——呜!” “aj今天没来。”我撒了个谎。 “到这儿来，a.j.，”帕蒂太太说。 “Ooooooooooooooh !”“你有麻烦了，阿乐。”安德烈说。 卡伯斯医生会把你送进监狱的。”

What did I do? I mean, I know I did a lot of bad stuff. But not recently. It had been weeks since I wrote in the boys' bathroom that Andrea was a poopy head. Maybe Dr. Carbles was going to torture me in the dungeon on the third floor. Who knew what he might do to me? I decided to take my time getting to Dr. Carbles's office. So I started counting the tiles in the hallway. Did you know that there are 4,324 tiles between Miss Daisy's class and Dr. Carbles's office? I didn't. As I was walking down the hall, a thought popped into my head. Maybe Dr. Carbles was going to give me a candy bar! One time I got in trouble and had to go to Mr. Klutz's office I thought he was going to punish me, but he gave me a candy bar instead. It was the greatest day of my life. Finally I opened the door to Dr. Carbles's office. It looked a lot different from when Mr. Klutz was principal. The cool snowboarding poster was gone. The Foosball table and the punching bag were gone. Do you know what Dr. Carbles had all over his office instead? Fish! There was a fish tank on the windowsill. There was a fishing pole in the corner. Dr. Carbles even had a picture of himself with a giant fish he'd caught. There was even a real fish that was mounted on the wall.

我做了什么?我是说，我知道我做了很多坏事。 但最近并非如此。几周前，我在男厕所里写过安德里亚是个猪头。 也许卡伯斯博士要在三楼的地牢里折磨我。 谁知道他会对我做什么? 我决定不慌不忙地去看医生。 Carbles的办公室。于是我开始数走廊里的瓷砖。 你知道黛西小姐的班级和史密斯博士的班级之间有4324块瓷砖吗? Carbles的办公室吗?我没有。 当我走过大厅时，一个想法突然出现在我的脑海里。 也许卡伯斯医生会给我糖果棒!有一次我遇到了麻烦，不得不去克鲁茨先生的办公室，我以为他会惩罚我，但他却给了我一块糖果。 那是我一生中最美好的一天。 最后，我打开门，见了琼斯医生。 Carbles的办公室。现在和克鲁茨先生当校长的时候大不一样了。 那张酷炫的单板滑雪海报不见了。 桌上足球桌和沙袋都不见了。 你知道卡布尔斯医生的办公室里堆满了什么吗? 鱼!窗台上有一个鱼缸。 角落里有一根鱼竿。 卡伯斯博士甚至有一张他和一条钓到的大鱼在一起的照片。 墙上甚至还挂着一条真鱼。

People who like fish that much are weird. "What took you so long?" Dr. Carbles asked. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I had to think fast. "I broke my leg," I lied. "Shake it off!" Dr. Carbles ordered. "Do you think a broken leg would have stopped George Washington when he was crossing the Delaware?" "I guess not," I said. "A.J.," he said more softly, "do you know why I called you in here?" "Because I wrote in the boys' bathroom that Andrea was a poopy head?"

那么喜欢吃鱼的人都很奇怪。 “你怎么花了这么长时间?”博士。 Carbles问道。我不知道该说什么。 我不知道该怎么办。我必须快速思考。 “我摔断了腿，”我撒谎道。“把它抖掉!”博士。 Carbles命令。“你认为乔治·华盛顿在穿越特拉华河时，一条断腿会阻止他吗?”“我想没有，”我说。 “aj，”他轻声地说，“你知道我为什么叫你来这里吗?”“因为我在男厕所里写了安德里亚是个猪头?”

"What?" yelled Dr. Carbles. "You wrote in the boys' bathroom that Andrea was a poopy head?" "Uh, no," I said quickly. "What gave you that idea?" It was weird just hearing a principal say "poopy head." "A.J., can I be Frank?" Dr. Carbles asked. "I don't care what you call yourself," I told him. "I asked you to come here because I need to talk with an average student," he said. "Do you know why I fired Mr. Klutz?" "Because he wanted to marry a turkey?" I guessed. "No, I fired Mr. Klutz because he's incompetent." "He wears diapers?" I asked. "Not incontinent!" Dr. Carbles yelled. "Incompetent! It means he didn't do a good job." "But we all love Mr. Klutz," I said. "A.J., I'm going to be Frank," said Dr. Carbles. "Okay, Frank. I'll be A.J." "I've never been a principal before," he admitted. "This is all new to me. I need to know what it is about Mr. Klutz that you kids love so much." "I guess it's because he's silly," I said. "Mr. Klutz is like a big kid." "A.J., let me be Frank," said Dr. Carbles. "I already said you could be Frank," I told him. "It's just not in my nature to be silly," Dr. Carbles said. "When I see the shenanigans at your school, I'm disgusted."

“什么?”卡伯斯博士喊道。 “你在男厕所里写安德里亚是个猪头?”“呃，不，”我赶紧说。 “你怎么会有这个想法?”光是听到校长说"屎头"就感觉怪怪的 “aj，我能演弗兰克吗?”博士。 Carbles问道。“我不管你怎么称呼自己，”我告诉他。 “我请你来是因为我需要和一个普通学生谈谈，”他说。 “你知道我为什么解雇克鲁茨先生吗?”“因为他想娶一只火鸡?”我猜到了。 “不，我解雇克鲁茨先生是因为他不称职。” “他穿尿布?”我问。 “不是失禁!”卡伯斯博士喊道。 “无能!这意味着他没有做好工作。” “但我们都喜欢克鲁茨先生，”我说。 “a.j.，我要做个坦率的人。” Carbles。“好吧,弗兰克。我就叫A.J.吧。” “我以前从来没当过校长，”他承认。 “这对我来说是全新的体验。我想知道你们孩子这么喜欢克鲁茨先生的什么地方。” “我猜是因为他太蠢了，”我说。 “克鲁茨先生就像个大孩子。” “a。j。让我坦率地说。” Carbles。“我已经说过你可以演弗兰克，”我告诉他。 “我天生就不傻。” Carbles说。“当我看到你们学校的恶作剧时，我很反感。”

I didn't know what "shenanigans" were, but I didn't tell him that. I bet Andrea knows. She read the whole encyclopedia so she could show off how smart she is. What's up with that? "If you don't like our shenanigans, maybe we could get some new shenanigans," I suggested. "A.J., let's be Frank," Dr. Carbles said. I slapped my forehead. "You mean both of us?" I asked. "Won't that be confusing?" "Enough! I know what you're trying to do, young man. You're trying to mess with my mind. Well, it won't work. Get out of my office!" "Okay, Frank," I said. I got up to leave but stopped at the door. "Can I have a candy bar, Frank?" I asked. "No! And stop calling me Frank!" Sheesh, what a sourpuss! He's the one who said to call him Frank. If you ask me, Dr. Carbles needs to take a chill pill.

我不知道什么是“恶作剧”，但我没有告诉他。 我打赌安德里亚知道。她读了整本百科全书，好炫耀自己有多聪明。 这是怎么回事?“如果你不喜欢我们的恶作剧，也许我们可以搞一些新的恶作剧，”我建议道。 “aj，我们坦诚点吧。” Carbles说。我拍了拍额头。 “你是说我们俩?”我问。 “那不会让人困惑吗?”“够了!我知道你想干什么，年轻人。 你想扰乱我的思想。 好吧，这行不通。滚出我的办公室!”“好的，弗兰克，”我说。 我起身要离开，但在门口停了下来。 “我能吃块糖吗，弗兰克?”我问。 “不!别再叫我弗兰克了!”哎呀，真是个坏脾气!是他让我叫他弗兰克的。 要我说，卡布尔斯医生需要冷静一下。