4 Ch4-Dr. Carbles Is a Meanie

Chapter 4 Dr. Carbles Is a Meanie DR. CARBLES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I always thought you had to go to principal school to be a principal. But I guess any dumbhead can be a principal. Dr. Carbles wasn't wearing his usual jacket and tie. He was wearing an army uniform, with black boots and a whistle around his neck. In one hand he was holding a bullhorn. In the other he had a whip. He didn't say anything at first. He just walked down the aisle, looking us over. Nobody made a move. Nobody made a sound. It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. We were all afraid of Dr. Carbles. He had a scowl on his face. Even Miss Daisy looked scared. Finally Dr. Carbles put the bullhorn to his mouth. "ATTEN— TION!" Dr. Carbles hollered, and we all straightened up in our seats. "This school is pathetic! You are unruly! You are undisciplined! You are totally disrespectful! I won't stand for it!" He was really mad!

"You don't go to school to have fun!" he shouted. "You go to school to learn, so you can get into college and have a productive life." "But I'm only in first grade!" said one of the first graders. Then she started to cry. "Silence!" shouted Dr. Carbles. He cracked his whip, and everybody jumped. "There are going to be some changes around here. Mr. Klutz was too easy on you. There will be no more turkeys and silly costumes and contests. From now on we will focus on the four Rs: reading, writing, arithmetic, and rules. We're going to turn you students into lean, mean learning machines. And if you don't like the way I do things, well, maybe you'd like to spend a little time in the dungeon on the third floor. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, Dr. Carbles," everybody mumbled. "Children behave better when they're wearing uniforms," Dr. Carbles told us. "So from now on, you will wear the official uniform of Ella Mentry School." The PTA moms went up and down the rows, passing out a bag to each of us. "That's all for now," Dr. Carbles said. "Any questions?"

"Can I go to the bathroom?" somebody asked. "No!" Dr. Carbles yelled. "Weak bladders lead to weak minds. Do you think George Washington went to the bathroom when he was crossing the Delaware?" "They had bathrooms on the Delaware?" asked Ryan. "Will we still have recess somebody else asked. "No!" Dr. Carbles yelled. "Recess is for wimps." "Will we still be allowed to play in the playground after school?" Michael asked. "NO!" Dr. Carbles yelled. "You're going to MARCH in the playground after school." Sure enough, when the three-o'clock bell rang, Dr. Carbles led us out onto the playground. We had to form a line, with the fifth graders at the front and the kindergarten trolls at the back. "Left! Right! Left! Right!" Dr. Carbles yelled as we marched. "Stop lagging behind, kindergarteners!" Dr. Carbles had us march around the playground a million hundred times. I thought I was gonna die.