12 Ch12-You Can Rent Anything

Chapter 12 You Can Rent Anything "Watch out!" somebody screamed. It was the day before Thanksgiving. Some crazy lunatic dressed like a Pilgrim was tearing down the sidewalk on a skateboard. He must have built up too much speed. The guy was weaving around kids, totally out of control. "Run for your lives somebody shouted. The skateboard must have hit a crack in the sidewalk, because the next thing anybody knew, the Pilgrim went flying through the air like a superhero. Kids were diving out of the way. Dogs were running as fast as they could, The skateboarding Pilgrim crash-landed in the bushes in front of the school. You'll never believe in a million hundred years who it was.

“小心!”有人尖叫。 那是感恩节的前一天。 有个穿得像清教徒的疯子正踩着滑板在人行道上乱窜。 他一定是跑得太快了。 那家伙在孩子们中间穿梭，完全失控了。 “快逃命，有人喊道。 滑板一定是撞上了人行道上的裂缝，因为接下来大家都知道，朝圣者像超级英雄一样在空中飞了起来。 孩子们纷纷闪开。 狗儿们拼命地跑着，那个玩滑板的朝圣者在学校前面的灌木丛中摔倒了。 你永远也不会相信那是谁。

It was Mr. Klutz! "Good morning, Mr. Klutz," said Mrs. Cooney as she walked past. "Good morning, Mrs. Cooney," he replied. "Beautiful day, isn't it?" "Lovely." Mr. Klutz got up, brushed himself off, and walked up the front steps, like it was totally normal to skateboard to school dressed as a Pilgrim and crash headfirst into the bushes. Everybody clapped and cheered when we realized Mr. Klutz had been hired to be our principal again. No more marching. No more uniforms. No more Dr. Carbles. It was the best day in the history of the world. In the afternoon we were called down to the all-purpose room for an assembly. Mr. Klutz went up on the stage, and everybody gave him a standing ovation. "Well, I have good news and bad news," Mr. Klutz told us. "The bad news is that even though you all made beautiful Thanksgiving displays, I can't marry a turkey like I promised." "What happened to Gobbles?" Emily asked. "I'm having her for dinner tomorrow," Mr. Klutz said. "What's the good news?" I shouted. "You'll see." Mr. Klutz went behind the curtain. You'll never believe in a million hundred years what he brought out with him. A live pig! "I'm going to marry this pig instead," he told us. Everybody started cheering and stamping their feet.

是克鲁茨先生!“早上好，克鲁茨先生，”库尼太太走过时说。 “早上好，库尼太太，”他回答。 “天气真好，不是吗?”“可爱的”。 克鲁茨先生站起来，掸了掸身上的毛，走上前门的台阶，就像穿着清教徒的衣服滑着滑板去学校，一头撞进灌木丛一样，这是再正常不过的事了。 当我们意识到克鲁茨先生又被聘为校长时，每个人都鼓掌欢呼。 不再游行。不用再穿制服了。 不再是卡伯斯博士了。这是世界历史上最美好的一天。 下午，我们被叫到下面的多功能室开会。 克鲁兹先生走上舞台，大家起立为他鼓掌。 “嗯，我有一个好消息和一个坏消息，”克鲁茨告诉我们。 “坏消息是，即使你们都做了漂亮的感恩节展示，我也不能像我承诺的那样娶一只火鸡。” “高布尔怎么了?”艾米丽问。 “我明天要请她吃饭，”克鲁茨说。 “有什么好消息吗?”我叫道。 “你会看到的。”克鲁茨先生走到窗帘后面。 你永远也不会相信他带来了什么。 一只活猪!“我要和这头猪结婚，”他告诉我们。 大家开始欢呼，跺着脚。

"Where did you get a pig?" yelled Ryan. "From Rent-a-Pig," Mr. Klutz said. "You can rent anything, you know." Mrs. Roopy came out onstage with a book. She was wearing a man's suit and tie. "It's Mrs. Roopy!" everybody yelled. "I'm not Mrs. Roopy," said Mrs. Roopy. "I'm the justice of the peace. Mr. Klutz, do you take this pig to be your wife— to love, honor, and cherish till death do you part?" "I do," said Mr. Klutz. "Pig, do you take Mr. Klutz to be your husband— in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" "Oink," said the pig. "This is so romantic!" Andrea whispered. "I now pronounce you man and wife," said Mrs. Roopy. "Mr. Klutz, you may kiss the pig." Mr. Klutz bent down and kissed the pig, right on the lips! Ew, disgusting! That was the second time I saw Mr. Klutz kiss a pig. He must really love pigs. After the assembly we went back to Miss Daisy's class to get ready for dismissal. She wished us a Happy Thanksgiving and made us go around in a circle to say what we were thankful for.

“你从哪儿弄来的猪?”瑞恩喊道。 “从租猪公司买的，”克鲁茨说。 “你什么都可以租，你知道的。” 鲁比太太拿着一本书走上台来。 她穿着一套男士西装，打着领带。 “是鲁比太太!” “我不是鲁皮太太，”鲁皮太太说。 “我是治安法官。 克鲁茨先生，你愿意娶这头猪做你的妻子吗?你愿意爱它、尊重它、珍惜它，直到死亡把你们分开吗?”“是的，”克鲁茨说。 “猪，你愿意接受克鲁茨先生做你的丈夫吗——无论疾病还是健康，直到死亡将你们分开吗?”“哼哼，”猪说。 “这太浪漫了!”安德里亚低声说。 “我现在宣布你们结为夫妻，”鲁比太太说。 “克鲁茨先生，你可以亲猪了。” 克鲁茨先生弯下腰吻了猪，就在他的嘴唇上!电子战,恶心!那是我第二次看到克鲁茨先生亲猪。 他一定很喜欢猪。集会结束后，我们回到黛西小姐的教室，准备下课。 她祝我们感恩节快乐，并让我们围成一圈说出我们要感谢的是什么。

"I'm thankful that Mr. Klutz is back," said Andrea. "I'm thankful that Dr. Carbles is gone," said Michael. The three-o'clock bell rang. "What are you thankful for, A.J.?" asked Miss Daisy. "I'm thankful that we don't have school for four more days," I said. Then I ran out of there. Maybe Dr. Carbles will take a chill pill and get his job back. Maybe we'll be allowed to keep the half-pipe and go skateboarding in fizz ed. Maybe Mr. Klutz and the pig will go on a honeymoon and live happily ever after. Maybe Mr. and Mrs. Klutz will get divorced because Mr. Klutz is always kissing pigs and marrying them. Maybe hair will stop growing out of Mr. Klutz's nose and back on the top of his head, where it belongs. Maybe my weird school will become more like a normal school.

“我很感激克鲁茨先生回来了，”安德烈说。 “我很庆幸卡伯斯医生走了，”迈克尔说。 三点钟的铃响了。 “你要感谢什么，A.J.?”黛西小姐问。 “我很感激，我们还有四天不用上学，”我说。 然后我跑了出去。也许博士。 卡伯斯会冷静下来，夺回他的工作。 也许我们会被允许保留半管滑道，然后在汽笛里玩滑板。 也许克鲁茨先生和猪会去度蜜月，从此幸福地生活在一起。 也许克鲁茨夫妇会离婚，因为克鲁茨先生总是亲吻猪，然后娶它们。 也许克鲁茨先生鼻子上的头发会停止生长，他的头顶也会停止生长。 也许我的怪学校会变得更像一个正常的学校。

But it won't be easy!

但这并不容易!