11 Ch11-The Big Skate-off

Chapter 11 The Big Skate-off When I got to school the next morning, I could hear the sound of hammering. It was coming from the gym. That was weird. I went over to the gym and opened the door. You'll never believe in a million hundred years what I saw. Five guys in overalls were building a half-pipe! Right there in the gym! Wow! We were going to go skateboarding in fizz ed! The fizz ed teacher, Miss Small, is off the wall. She usually has us juggle scarves and balance feathers on our fingers. But we were finally going to do something cool! We were going to skateboard! It was the greatest day of my life. Me and the guys were so excited, we could hardly stand it. "When do we go to fizz ed?" we kept asking Miss Daisy. "I don't know," said Miss Daisy, who doesn't know anything. Finally, at the end of the day, Mrs. Patty made an announcement over the loudspeaker. She said that everybody had to report to the gym. "Hooray!" all the boys yelled. Miss Daisy had to keep telling us to stop running the whole way there. When we got there, the half-pipe was finished, and Dr. Carbles was standing in front of it. He was holding a skateboard.

第二天早上，当我到学校时，我能听到锤子的声音。 是从体育馆传来的。 这很奇怪。我走到健身房，打开门。 你绝对不会相信我看到了什么。 五个穿工装裤的人在堆半管滑道!就在体育馆!哇!我们本来要去玩滑板的!脾气火爆的斯莫尔老师简直疯了。 她通常让我们玩杂耍围巾和平衡手指上的羽毛。 但我们终于要做点很酷的事了!我们要去玩滑板!那是我一生中最美好的一天。 我和伙计们太兴奋了，我们都受不了了。 “我们什么时候去fizz ?”我们不停地问Daisy小姐。 “我不知道，”黛西小姐说，她什么也不知道。 最后，在一天结束的时候，帕蒂夫人通过扩音器宣布了一个消息。 她说每个人都得去健身房报到。 “万岁!”所有的男孩都喊道。 黛西小姐不得不不停地告诉我们不要一路跑过去。 当我们到达那里时，半管滑道已经完成了。 卡伯斯站在它前面。 他拿着一个滑板。

"Where's Miss Small?" I asked. "Are we going to skateboard in fizz ed?" "No!" shouted Dr. Carbles, "This half-pipe isn't for you. It's for me." "Boooooo!" yelled all the boys. We were really mad as we sat down on the bleachers. But we didn't stay mad for long, because you'll never believe who walked into the door at the other end of the gym. Nobody. If you walked into a door, it would hurt. But guess who walked into the doorway? It was Mr. Klutz! And he was holding a skateboard. Everybody cheered. "Hooray for Mr. Klutz!" we all shouted. Dr. Carbles and Mr. Klutz stood facing each other at opposite sides of the gym. They looked like two gunslingers on one of those old Western TV shows, except they had skateboards instead of guns. Everybody got quiet. You could hear a pin drop. "So, we meet again, Klutz," said Dr. Carbles. "I thought you'd be too chicken to show up." "I will outskate you anytime," Mr. Klutz said. "You're going down, Walrus Face!"

“斯莫尔小姐在哪儿?”我问。 “我们要穿着起泡酒玩滑板吗?”“不!” Carbles，“这个半管滑道不适合你。 这是给我的。”“呜呜!”所有的男孩都叫了起来。 当我们坐在露天看台上时，我们真的很生气。 但我们并没有生气太久，因为你永远不会相信谁走进了健身房另一端的门。 没有人。如果你撞到一扇门，会很疼。 但猜猜谁走进了门口? 是克鲁茨先生!他拿着一个滑板。 每个人都欢呼起来。“为克鲁茨先生欢呼!” 卡伯斯博士和克鲁茨先生面对面站在体育馆的两侧。 他们看起来就像西部老电视剧里的两个枪手，只不过他们拿的是滑板而不是枪。 大家都安静了。你可以听到一根针掉在地上的声音。 “那么，我们又见面了，笨蛋。” Carbles。“我还以为你胆小得不敢来呢。” “我随时都会比你滑得更快，”克鲁茨说。 “你完蛋了，海象脸!”

"Oh, snap!" Ryan whispered. "Mr. Klutz is gonna blow the doors off Dr. Carbles!" I told the guys. Mr. Klutz and Dr. Carbles climbed up to the top of the half-pipe. Dr. Carbles picked up his bullhorn. "Finally, all the world will know who the best skateboarder is!" he hollered. "Ha-ha-ha! Revenge will be sweet!" We all started chanting: "TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT— WHO DO WE APPRECIATE? KLUTZ! KLUTZ! KLUTZ!" Dr. Carbles and Mr. Klutz dropped into the half-pipe at the same time. Dr. Carbles did a vert bomb drop, Mr. Klutz did a combination inward heelflip/outside boardslide. Dr. Carbles did a polejam. Mr. Klutz did a boomerang. It was awesome! Everybody in the gym was yelling and screaming their heads off. Even the teachers! Then, just as Dr. Carbles was doing a monkeyflip jawbreaker, Mr. Klutz did a stalefish McTwist. They crashed into each other in midair! Dr.

“哦,中计了!”瑞安低声说。 "克鲁茨先生会把。 Carbles !”我告诉他们了。 克鲁茨先生和卡伯斯博士爬上了半管滑道的顶端。 卡伯斯博士拿起扩音器。 “终于，全世界都知道谁是最好的滑板手了!”他大声喊道。 “哈哈哈!复仇是甜蜜的!”我们都开始念叨:“二、四、六、八——我们应该欣赏谁?” 这些外行!这些外行!笨蛋!”卡伯斯博士和克鲁茨先生同时掉进了半管滑道。 卡伯斯博士做了一个垂直投弹，克鲁茨先生做了一个向内翻和向外滑板的组合。 卡布尔斯医生做了手术。 克鲁茨先生做了一个回旋镖。 太棒了!体育馆里的每个人都在大喊大叫。 甚至是老师!然后，就像Dr。 卡伯斯在做猴子翻筋斗，克鲁茨先生在做老朽的McTwist。 他们在半空中撞在了一起!博士。

Carbles's toupee went flying off his head! The two of them landed together in a tangle of arms and legs. It was a real Kodak moment. And we got to see it live and in person. "Oh, my leg!" moaned Dr. Carbles. "Ouch! My head!" moaned Mr. Klutz. The two of them were lying at the bottom of the half-pipe, freaking out. Mrs. Cooney, the beautiful school nurse, came running over with a first-aid kit. And you'll never believe in a million hundred years who walked in the gym at that exact moment. I'm not going to tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. It was Mrs. Haney, the superintendent of all the schools in the county!

卡伯斯的假发从他头上飞了出去!他们俩一起落在地上，胳膊和腿乱成一团。 这是一个真正的柯达时刻。 而且我们还能亲眼看到。 “啊，我的腿!”卡伯斯医生呻吟道。 “哎哟!我的头!”克鲁兹呻吟道。 他们俩躺在半管滑道底部，吓坏了。 漂亮的学校护士库尼太太拿着急救箱跑了过来。 你永远也不会相信是谁在那一刻走进了健身房。 我不会告诉你的。 好吧，好吧，我告诉你。 是哈尼太太，全县所有学校的负责人!

"Carbles!" she shouted. "What's the meaning of this?" Dr. Carbles looked at Mr. Klutz. Mr. Klutz looked at Mrs. Haney. Mrs. Haney looked at Dr. Carbles. Everybody was looking at each other. "It's a half-pipe, ma'am," Dr. Carbles said. "I challenged Klutz to a little competition." "You were hired to bring order and discipline to this school!" Mrs. Haney yelled. "I didn't bring you here so you could build a half-poop and ride a skateboard!" "B-b-but...," said Dr. Carbles. "Carbles!" shouted Mrs. Haney. "You're FIRED!" Dr. Carbles limped out of the gym, sobbing. What a crybaby!

“鹅卵石!”她喊道。“这是什么意思?”博士。 卡伯斯看着克鲁茨先生。 克鲁茨先生看着哈尼太太。 哈尼太太看着卡伯斯医生。 每个人都面面相觑。 “这是半管泳裤，夫人。” Carbles说。“我跟克鲁茨打了个小比赛。” “我们雇你来是为了给学校带来秩序和纪律的!”哈尼太太喊道。 “我带你来可不是让你造个半便便和玩滑板的!”“B-b-but…他说。 Carbles。“鹅卵石!”哈尼太太喊道。 “你被解雇了!”卡伯斯医生一瘸一拐地走出健身房，抽泣着。 真是个爱哭鬼!