9 Ch9-The Truth About Mrs. Yonkers

Chapter 9 The Truth About Mrs. Yonkers The next day we were sitting around the vomitorium eating lunch when an announcement came over the loudspeaker. "Mrs. Yonkers is absent today," said Mrs. Patty. "All computer classes are canceled." Bummer in the summer! At the next table, the girls were talking about silly stuff, like what dress they should wear to somebody's birthday party and how many rubber bands they should put in their hair. We boys had more important things to talk about. "I can hang a spoon from my nose," Ryan said. "No way," I said. Ryan breathed on his spoon. Then he put the spoon on his nose and it hung there! It was the most amazing thing in the history of the world. Ryan taught me and Michael and Neil the nude kid how to hang spoons from our noses. After that we had a spoon-hanging contest. Ryan won, because he was able to hang four spoons from his face at the same time. He should be in the gifted and talented program like me.

I opened the lunch bag that my mom packed. Milk. A bag of peanuts. An apple. Carrot sticks. Ugh! I hate healthy food. I can't believe we're supposed to eat fruits and vegetables. They grow out of the dirt! That's disgusting! I looked over at the girls' table. "Andrea," said Emily, "do you want to trade your stir-fried veggies and fruit kabobs for my tofu nuggets?" "No thanks," Andrea replied. "I'm not hungry." Andrea looked all sad, like her dog died or something. "What's the matter with you?" I asked. "Did your dog die or something?" "I'm worried about Mrs. Yonkers," Andrea said. "What about her?" asked Michael. "She's under so much pressure," Andrea said. "My mother is a psychologist. She says that when people are under a lot of pressure, they could have a nervous breakdown." "Maybe Mrs. Yonkers isn't a computer teacher at all," I suggested. "Did you ever think of that?" "What do you mean?" asked Emily.

"Well, maybe she's just pretending to be a computer teacher." "Yeah," said Ryan, "Maybe Mrs. Yonkers is an evil genius who kidnaps computer teachers and forces them to hack into government computer networks. Stuff like that happens all the time, you know." "It does?" Emily asked. "Stop trying to scare Emily," said Andrea. "Sure it does," Michael said. "Maybe Mrs. Yonkers is planning to program all the computers in the world to crash at the same time." "Yeah," said Neil the nude kid, "and maybe she tied up our real computer teacher in the secret dungeon in the basement." "I think they moved the secret dungeon up to the third floor," Ryan said. "I'll bet Mrs. Yonkers took apart a laser printer, and she's going to torture our real computer teacher with laser beams," I added. "I saw that in a movie once." "We've got to do something!" Emily shouted. Then she went running out of the vomitorium. Emily is weird.