4 Ch4-Sharpening Pencils Can Be Dangerous

Chapter 4 Sharpening Pencils Can Be Dangerous Mrs. Yonkers wasn't too worried about Speedy the turtle. She said he runs away all the time. But thanks to Turtle Cam, she can usually find him. She turned on another computer, one that was plugged into the wall socket this time. "There he is!" we shouted when Mrs. Yonkers clicked on Turtle Cam. "How did that rascal get outside?" she said. We all watched the screen closely. Speedy was heading toward some cars in the parking lot. "Maybe he climbed out the window," Neil the nude kid guessed. We saw some bushes on the computer screen, and then the screen got darker. All we could see were leaves and sticks. "Speedy went into the woods!" I said. "He'll be lost forever!" said Michael. "We've got to do something!" shouted Emily, and she went running out of the room. Emily is weird. "Don't worry," said Mrs. Yonkers. "I'm sure Speedy will come back. In the meantime, would you like to see my latest top secret invention?" "Yeah!" we all shouted. Mrs. Yonkers took a small box out of her desk drawer.

"Is that a remote control?" I asked. "Yes!" she said. "I'm a remote control freak! At home I use a remote control to open my garage, turn on the TV and microwave, and even start my car. But this remote control is different. It's a remote control remote control!" "What's a remote control remote control?" asked Ryan. "It's a remote control you use when you don't feel like getting off the couch to pick up your regular remote control," said Mrs. Yonkers. "You just press a button on the remote control remote control, and then you can control your remote control." "That's cool!" we all agreed. Mrs. Yonkers is a genius. She should get the No Bell Prize. That's a prize they give to people who don't have bells. "You should invent a remote control remote control remote control," suggested Michael. "That would be silly," Mrs. Yonkers said. She took another box out of her desk drawer. "But check this out. It's the world's first remote control pencil sharpener!" "Wow!" we all said. "How does it work?" I asked.

"You put your pencil in this little hole, and you can go as far as fifty feet away to turn it on," Mrs. Yonkers said. "Then you go back and get your pencil— all sharpened and ready to use." "That's cool!" I said. "Why would anybody want to do that?" asked Andrea. "Isn't it easier just to stay right there at the pencil sharpener?" "It's cooler to sharpen pencils by remote control," I told Andrea. Doing anything by remote control is cool, if you ask me. "Also, this is the first pencil sharpener that gives you a workout," Mrs. Yonkers explained. "I like to jog around the room while my pencil is being sharpened. It's a win-win!" "Can we try it out?" asked Neil the nude kid. "Well, I'm still ironing out the bugs," Mrs. Yonkers said. "Please? Please? Please? Please?" "Well... okay." Mrs. Yonkers stuck a pencil into the sharpener. Then she picked up her remote control and led us over to the other end of the computer lab. "Now watch this," she said, and she pushed a button on the remote. The pencil sharpener started making noises. We all clapped our hands. And then... BAM! There was a huge explosion! Pieces of pencil and pencil sharpener went flying all over the computer lab! "Duck!" I shouted. We all stopped, dropped, and rolled like we do during a fire drill.

When we got up off the floor, there was smoke pouring out of what was left of the pencil sharpener. It was cool! I thought Mrs. Yonkers was going to be upset that her remote control pencil sharpener had exploded into a million hundred pieces. But she didn't seem to mind at all. "Lucky I used the remote control," she said. "We were out of harm's way, and nobody got hurt. Imagine how many kids would have been injured if we had used a regular pencil sharpener and it exploded. Remote control pencil sharpeners are much safer." Mrs. Yonkers is bonkers!