10 Ch10-The Greatest Invention in the History of the World

Chapter 10 The Greatest Invention in the History of the World The next morning Mr. Klutz came into our class with his bald head. "Tomorrow Dr. Carbles is coming to visit our school," said Mr. Klutz. "He's the president of the Board of Education. He wants to see if we're making any progress with bringing our school into the 21st century. So I expect all of you to be on your very best behavior." "We will!" we all said. "Is our computer teacher tied up in the dungeon, being shot with laser beams?" Emily asked. "Not that I know of," Mr. Klutz replied. "In fact, I think Mrs. Yonkers is in the computer lab, working on her lesson plans now." We were all happy that Mrs. Yonkers was back at school. But when we saw her in the computer lab, she looked really tired. She told us she didn't get any sleep last night. "I was thinking about you kids," she told us, "and I think I came up with the solution to your problem." She pulled a sheet off a computer in the corner. Attached to the computer was a box that looked sort of like a big microwave oven. "What's that?" Michael asked. "I call it the JFT," Mrs. Yonkers said. "Junk Food Transformer. Watch this."

第10章世界历史上最伟大的发明第二天早上，克鲁茨先生秃头走进我们班。 “明天卡伯斯博士要来我们学校参观，”克鲁茨先生说。 “他是教育委员会主席。 他想看看我们在把学校带入21世纪方面是否取得了进展。 所以我希望你们所有人都表现得很好。” “我们会的!”我们都说。“我们的计算机老师被绑在地牢里，被激光射死吗?”艾米丽问。 “据我所知没有，”克鲁茨回答。 “事实上，我想扬克斯夫人现在在计算机实验室，正在做她的教案。” 扬克斯太太回到学校，我们都很高兴。 但是当我们在计算机实验室看到她时，她看起来真的很累。 她告诉我们她昨晚没睡。 “我在想你们这些孩子，”她告诉我们，“我想我想到了解决你们问题的办法。” 她从角落里的电脑上扯下一张被单。 电脑上有一个盒子，看起来有点像一个大微波炉。 “那是什么?”迈克尔问道。 “我称之为JFT，”扬克斯太太说。 “垃圾食品变压器。看这个。”

She took a piece of broccoli out of a bag on her desk and put it in the Junk Food Transformer. Then she typed something on the computer keyboard. The microwave thing buzzed for a minute or so, and then a bell rang. Mrs. Yonkers opened the door. And you'll never believe what was in there. A York Peppermint Pattie! "Wow!" we all shouted. "What happened to the broccoli?" asked Andrea. "The Junk Food Transformer turned it into a York Peppermint Pattie!" said Mrs. Yonkers. She unwrapped the Peppermint Pattie and took a bite out of it. "That's impossible!" Ryan said. "It's a trick!" "You think so?" Mrs. Yonkers asked. "Well, watch this." She took a handful of green beans— the most vile and disgusting food in the history of the world— and put it into the Junk Food Transformer. Then she typed something on the keyboard. The microwave thing started buzzing again. When the bell rang and Mrs. Yonkers opened the door, do you know what was inside? Three Hershey's bars!

她从桌子上的袋子里拿出一片花椰菜，把它放进了垃圾食品变压器里。 然后她在电脑键盘上敲了些东西。 微波炉嗡嗡响了一分钟左右，然后门铃响了。 扬克斯太太打开了门。 你绝对不会相信里面有什么。 约克薄荷馅饼!“哇!”我们都喊道。 “西兰花怎么了?”安德里亚问。 “垃圾食品变形金刚把它变成了约克薄荷馅饼!”扬克斯太太说。 她打开薄荷馅饼的包装，咬了一口。 “那是不可能的!”瑞恩说。 “这是个骗局!”“你这么认为?”扬克斯太太问。 “好吧，看这个。”她拿了一把青豆——世界历史上最恶心的食物——放进了垃圾食品变形器。 然后她在键盘上敲了些东西。 微波炉又开始嗡嗡作响了。 当门铃响了，扬克斯太太打开门，你知道里面是什么吗? 三块好时巧克力棒!

"Wow!" we all shouted. Mrs. Yonkers peeled off a wrapper and gave each of us a piece. "It tastes just like chocolate!" marveled Michael. "It is chocolate," said Mrs. Yonkers, "yet it has all the vitamins and nutrients of green beans! The Junk Food Transformer turns health food into healthy junk food." "It's amazing!" said Andrea. "You should get the No Bell Prize," I told Mrs. Yonkers. "Say, can the Junk Food Transformer turn junk food into health food?" asked Ryan. "Why would anybody want to do that?" I asked. Ryan is weird. Mrs. Yonkers said it was okay for us to go back to our classroom and get our healthy lunches from our cubbies. I never ran so fast in my whole life. When we got back to the computer lab, Mrs. Yonkers had a grocery bag filled with fruits and vegetables on her desk. We spent the rest of class turning all the health food into junk food. It was the greatest day of my life. We made Milk Duds and Sugar Daddys. AirHeads and WarHeadst Ring Pops and Push Pops and Blow Pops and Pop Rocks. We ended up with so much candy, gum, and lollipops that it looked like Halloween. There was no way we could eat it all. When the bell rang and it was time to go, we stashed a bunch of candy in Mrs. Yonkers's closet. "This is the greatest invention in the history of the world!" I told Mrs. Yonkers. "Shhhhh," she said. "Don't tell anybody yet. It will be our little secret!"

“哇!”我们都喊道。扬克斯太太剥下包装纸，给我们每人一块。 “它尝起来就像巧克力!”迈克尔惊叹道。 “这是巧克力，”扬克斯太太说，“但它含有四季豆的所有维生素和营养!垃圾食品变换器把健康食品变成了健康的垃圾食品。” “太神奇了!”安德烈说。 “你应该得诺贝尔奖，”我对扬克斯太太说。 “喂，垃圾食品变形金刚能把垃圾食品变成健康食品吗?”瑞恩问道。 “为什么会有人想这么做?”我问。 瑞恩很奇怪。扬克斯太太说，我们可以回到教室，从小橱柜里拿健康午餐。 我这辈子从没跑过这么快。 当我们回到计算机实验室时，扬克斯太太的桌子上放着一个装满水果和蔬菜的购物袋。 我们用剩下的时间把所有的健康食品变成了垃圾食品。 那是我一生中最美好的一天。 我们做了牛奶糖和糖爸爸。 AirHeads, WarHeadst, Ring Pop, Push Pop, Blow Pop, and Pop Rocks。 我们最后买了很多糖果、口香糖和棒棒糖，看起来就像万圣节一样。 我们不可能把它都吃完。 下课铃响了，该走了，我们在扬克斯太太的壁橱里藏了一堆糖果。 “这是世界历史上最伟大的发明!”我告诉了扬克斯太太。 “嘘，”她说。“先别告诉任何人。 这将是我们的小秘密!”