2 Ch2-Children's Books Are Dumb

Chapter 2 Children's Books Are Dumb So that's why all the teachers were talking about Miss Suki Kabuki. She was coming to visit our school. I never met a real live author before. Come to think of it, I never met any dead ones either. Wow! said all the girls. Who cares? said all the boys.

Mr. Klutz was so excited about the author visit, he had to go tell all the other classes the news. I love Miss Suki Kabuki! said Andrea, who loves books and anything else that's boring. She's my favorite author! Never heard of her before today, I said. Well, maybe if you picked up a book once in a while, Arlo, then you would know who she is. Hey, I picked up a book once, I said. And then I put it back down again. Andrea had to show everybody how smart she was by naming some of Miss Suki Kabuki's books, like The Fearless

Falcon, The Reluctant Rhino, and The Courageous Crane. That's right, Andrea, said Miss Daisy. Suki Kabuki has written a lot of great books. She's coming all the way to America

from Japan because she won the Blueberry Award. That's an award that is given for the best children's book of the year. Miss Suki is only visiting a few schools in America, and ours is one of them! We're very lucky our PTA was able to get her. I knew Miss Suki was coming, said Andrea, who loves telling people how much she knows. How did you know? asked Neil the nude kid. My mother is vice president of the PTA, Andrea said. She knows every- thing. I'm sure it was very hard to get Miss Suki to come and visit us, Miss Daisy

said. She lives in the rainforest, where she writes all about those animals. I love animals, Andrea said. When I grow up, I want to be a veterinarian. You're not going to eat meat? I asked. No, dumbhead, said Andrea. That's a vegetarian. A veterinarian is an animal doctor. It is not, I said. It is too, Andrea said. We went back and forth like that for a while. And then I came up with a genius idea to win the argument. Oh, yeah? I said. Well, a veterinarian who doesn't eat meat is a vegetarian. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo!

In her face! No wonder they put me in the gifted and talented program. I can't believe Miss Suki is coming to our school, said Emily, all excited. Do you think she'll sign autographs? I don't know, said Miss Daisy, who doesn't know anything. Maybe she will if you kids are on your best behavior. I didn't want Miss Suki's autograph. I had never even heard of her or any of her dumb books before. How come we have to have an author visit anyway? Why can't we have a professional skateboarder instead? That would be cool. Children's books are dumb, if you ask me. So anybody who writes children's