2 Ch2-National Poetry Month Is Dumb

Chapter 2 National Poetry Month Is Dumb Me and Andrea walked down the hall to Ms. Coco's room. She's the gifted and tal- ented teacher at Ella Mentry School. That doesn't mean she's gifted and talented. It means she teaches kids who are gifted and talented. Me and Andrea are the only ones in

Miss Daisy's class who are in the G and T program. Don't ask me how I got in. The only talents I have are burping the alpha- bet and making farting noises with my armpits. But we all had to take a dumb test, and afterward Ms. Coco decided I was gifted and talented. I hate being gifted and talented. I don't want to be a gifted and talented nerd like Andrea. Guess what, Arlo? Andrea asked, as we walked down the hall. She calls me by my real name because she knows I hate it. Your butt, I replied. (Any time anyone says Guess what? you should always say Your butt. That's

the first rule of being a kid.) I'm taking a speed-reading class after school, so I can read faster, Andrea bragged. Andrea takes classes in everything. If they gave a class in blowing your nose, she would take that class so she could get better at it. Wow, I said, it must be wonderful being you.

That's called sarcasm. It's when you say exactly the opposite of what you really mean. Sarcasm is fun, especially when you're talking to somebody you hate, like Andrea. Arlo, did you know that aardvarks eat termites? Andrea said. And did you know that ants rarely live more than sixty days? She must have been working on the

letter A in her encyclopedia. Sure, I lied. Any dumbhead knows that stuff. We walked a million hundred miles until we got to the G and T room. Ms. Coco wasn't there yet. She has posters of geniuses like Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison and the Beatles on the wall. And there are signs all over the place that say things like THINK!, CREATE!, and INVENT! Finally Ms. Coco came running in. She wears tons of makeup on her face and her hair is always in place. I guess that's why she's late a lot. It must take a lot of time to make her look good. Hello! she said to me and Andrea. Do

you like yellow Jell-O? I can play the cello. Are you mellow? Ms. Coco is weird. Why are you talking in rhyme? asked Andrea. Rhyme? she said. Is it a crime to talk in rhyme? I'd rather mime, but that takes more time. I get it! Andrea said. You're talking in rhyme because