6 Ch6-It's Hard to Be the President

Chapter 6 It's Hard to Be the President The next day Mr. Macky popped his head in our class right after the morning announcements. Are you all getting excited about Presidents' Day? he asked. Yeah! said all the girls. No! said all the boys.

I have a question for you, Mr. Macky said. What color is the White House? Everybody waved their hands around in the air. Even the dumbest dumbbell in the world knows the White House is white. That's why they call it the White House. Duh! But Mr. Macky didn't call on any of us. Instead, he called on Miss Daisy, who was waving her hand just like she was a kid. The White House is blue, right? said Miss Daisy. I slapped my head. She doesn't know anything! The White House is white! we all shouted.

Oh, said Miss Daisy. I thought it was a trick question. Miss Daisy is crazy. She is the dumbest teacher in the history of the world. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company, Mr. Macky? asked Miss Daisy. (That's grown-up talk for What are you doing here?) I thought I would tell the students a little bit about the presidents, said Mr. Macky. It might help them decide which president to choose for their oral reports. Excellent idea! Miss Daisy said as Mr. Macky went running out of the room. Where did he go? asked Ryan. Who knows? I said. He's weird.

Mr. Macky came right back in, but this time he was walking on his knees. And he had his shoes over his knees, so it looked like he was really tiny. I'm James Madison, Mr. Macky said. I am the 4th president and the shortest. I'm about five feet four inches tall and I only weigh one hundred pounds. What a shrimp! Ryan said. Mr. Macky excused himself and ran out of the room again. Then he came back

with a cigar in each hand, a cigar in his mouth, and two cigars sticking out of his ears. Who are you now? asked Andrea. I am Ulysses S. Grant, Mr. Macky said. The 18th president. I smoke twenty cigars a day. That's disgusting! said Michael. Mr. Macky ran out of the room again. He must have stuffed a bunch of pillows under his shirt, because when he came back in, he was really fat. Nobody can gain weight that fast. Who are you now? asked Emily. I'm William Howard Taft, he said, the 27th president. I weigh more than three hundred pounds. I had a special bathtub

built for me in the White House. You should go on Weight Watchers, I said. My mom lost twenty pounds that way. Mr. Macky ran out of the room again. When he came back this time, he was wearing a dress! Who are you now? asked Ryan. I'm Franklin D. Roosevelt, he said, the 32nd president. My mother made me wear a dress until I was five years old.