11 Ch11-President Wiggles, Reporting for Doody

Chapter 11 President Wiggles, Reporting for Doody Well, we searched all over the school, but we just couldn't find President Wiggles. When we finally returned to our class, everybody was looking around the room. President Wiggles could be anywhere. Poor Neil the nude kid was really upset. If his ferret was lost, his parents were going

to be mad. Miss Daisy said President Wiggles was sure to turn up and we had to get back to work. It was time for us to give our oral reports. Little Miss Perfect Andrea got to go first. She was dressed up like John F. Kennedy. Ask not what your country can do for you,' Andrea said. Ask what you can do for your country.' I had to admit that Andrea's oral report

was pretty good. She told us that John F. Kennedy was a war hero and that he started the space program and the Peace Corps. He was cool. Exemplary! Miss Daisy said as Andrea walked back to her seat. (That means excellent in grown-up talk.) Wait until you hear my oral report, I whispered to Ryan. I'm gonna blow Andrea's doors off. Next it was crybaby Emily's turn. She was dressed up like Abraham Lincoln with a suit, tie, big black hat, and fake beard. Emily's report was really sad. She told us that Abraham Lincoln was dirt poor as

a kid, his three-year-old son died, his wife went crazy, and the country was at war with itself the whole time he was presi- dent. And then, to top it all off, a few days after the war ended, some guy shot him. Emily started coughing and rubbing her eyes like she was going to cry. For once I couldn't call her a crybaby. The story of Abraham Lincoln was really sad. Andrea was crying. Miss Daisy was crying. Then Michael and Ryan started crying, too. Everybody was crying. Even me! While we were all crying, the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. The big Lincoln hat on Emily's head started moving around. It was like it

had a motor in it or something. And then the front of the hat lifted up a little. And you know what was under there? I'm not going to tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. It was President Wiggles! He was sitting on top of Emily's head!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Emily screamed. THERE'S A RAT IN MY HAT! I THINK IT JUST POOPED IN MY HAIR! Emily totally freaked and ran out of the room. President Wiggles jumped off her head and ran away. Neil the nude kid chased him around the class. It was hilarious. A real Kodak moment. And we got to see it live and in person!