3 Ch3-Santa Klutz Is Coming to Town

Chapter 3 Santa Klutz Is Coming to Town "Line up in ABC order," said our teacher, Miss Daisy, after we finished pledging the allegiance the next morning. "We're having an assembly!" "Yay!" said the girls. "Boo!" said the boys. Assemblies are when the whole school

第三章圣诞老人来了第二天早上，在我们宣誓效忠后，我们的老师黛西小姐说:“按ABC顺序排好队。” “我们在开会!”“耶!”女孩们说。 “嘘!”男孩们说。集会是全校师生聚集的时候

goes to the all-purpose room and we have to listen to somebody talk for a million hundred hours. The last time we had an assembly, some children's book author told us about his books. What a bore! The reading specialist, Mr. Macky, is always trying to get us to read. I hate reading. But this assembly looked like it was going to be different. The all-purpose room was decorated with big candy canes, snowmen, and fake snow. "Jingle Bells" was playing on the loudspeaker. After we sat down, the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. Something started coming down from the ceiling above the stage!

去了多功能室，我们得听别人讲上百万个小时。 上次我们聚会的时候，一些童书作者给我们介绍了他的书。 真讨厌!阅读专家麦基先生总是试图让我们读书。 我讨厌读书。但这次集会看起来会有所不同。 这个多功能房间装饰着大拐杖糖、雪人和假雪。 扩音器里放着《铃儿响叮当》。 我们坐下之后，世界历史上最令人惊奇的事情发生了。 有什么东西开始从舞台上方的天花板上掉下来!

At first we couldn't tell what it was. Then we saw it was a sleigh! As it got lower, we could see Santa Claus sitting in the sleigh. Some kids were pulling long ropes that lowered the sleigh down until it reached the stage. "Ho ho ho!" "It's Santa Claus!" everybody shouted. "I'm not Santa Claus," the guy said. He took off his Santa hat so we could see his shiny bald head. "I'm Santa KLUTZ!"

起初我们不知道那是什么。 然后我们看到那是一辆雪橇!随着它越来越低，我们可以看到圣诞老人坐在雪橇上。 一些孩子拉着长长的绳子，把雪橇拉下来，直到它到达舞台。 “嗬嗬嗬!”“是圣诞老人!” “我不是圣诞老人，”那人说。 他脱下圣诞老人的帽子，好让我们看看他光秃秃的脑袋。 “我是圣诞老人!”

It was Mr. Klutz, the principal! Everyone started hooting and hollering. Miss Daisy shushed us. Mr. Klutz waited until everybody was quiet. He picked up a microphone so we could hear him better. "I always gets santamental around the holidays," Mr. Klutz said. "Get it? Santa mental?" "Hahahahahahahahahaha!" We all laughed even though Mr. Klutz didn't say anything funny. When the principal makes a joke, you should always laugh. That's the first rule of being a kid. If you don't laugh at the principal's jokes, he'll get mad and lock you in the dungeon down in the basement.

是校长克鲁茨先生!每个人都开始大喊大叫。 黛西小姐让我们安静下来。克鲁茨先生一直等到大家都安静下来。 他拿起麦克风，好让我们听得更清楚。 “一到节日，我就会变得很圣诞，”克鲁茨说。 “明白了吗?圣诞精神?”“Hahahahahahahahahaha !”我们都笑了，尽管克鲁茨先生没有说什么好笑的话。 当校长讲笑话时，你应该总是笑。 这是当孩子的第一准则。 如果你对校长的笑话不笑，他会生气的把你锁在地下室的地牢里。

"But seriously," Mr. Klutz said, "what do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?" "What?" we all yelled. "Frostbite he said. "Get it? Frost? Bite?" "Hahahahahahahaha!" Mr. Klutz is always cracking jokes. He thinks he is a real comedian. But his jokes are terrible. It should be against the law for principals to tell jokes. "Do you know why Santa's little helper was depressed?" Mr. Klutz asked. "Why?" we all yelled. "Because he had low elf-esteem. Get it? Elf? Esteem?" "Hahahahahaha!"

“但说真的，”克鲁茨说，“当你把一个雪人和一个吸血鬼交叉在一起时，你会得到什么?”“什么?”我们都喊道。 他说冻伤。“明白了吗? 霜吗?咬人吗?”“狂笑!”克鲁茨先生总是开玩笑。 他认为他是一个真正的喜剧演员。 但是他的笑话很糟糕。 校长讲笑话应该是违法的。 “你知道圣诞老人的小帮手为什么这么沮丧吗?”克鲁茨问道。 “为什么?”我们都喊道。“因为他自卑。 明白了吗?精灵?尊重?”“Hahahahahaha !”

Maybe if we stopped laughing at his jokes, Mr. Klutz would stop telling them. "What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?" Mr. Klutz asked. "What?" we all yelled. "Claustrophobic!" he said. "Get it? Claus? Trophobic?" "Hahahaha!" It was horrible. It was like watching one of those movies that never ends. I looked over at Ryan and Michael. They rolled their eyes. "What do snowmen eat for breakfast?" Mr. Klutz asked. "What?" we all yelled. "Snowflakes!" he said. "Get it? Snow? Flakes?"

也许如果我们不为他的笑话发笑，克鲁茨先生就不会再讲笑话了。 “你怎么称呼害怕圣诞老人的人?”克鲁茨问道。 “什么?”我们都喊道。“幽闭恐惧症!”他说。 “明白了吗?老人?Trophobic ?”“哈哈哈!”太可怕了。 就像在看一部永远不会结束的电影。 我看了看瑞恩和迈克尔。 他们翻了个白眼。“雪人早餐吃什么?”克鲁茨问道。 “什么?”我们都喊道。“雪花!”他说。 “明白了吗?雪吗?片吗?”