5 Ch5-Indoor Recess Is No Fun at All

Chapter 5 Indoor Recess Is No Fun at All It was Spaghetti and Meatballs Day in the vomitorium, but I always bring lunch from home. I wouldn't eat the school lunch if I was living in Antarctica and starving. Ryan gave me his Pop-Tart. I gave him my grapes because I don't like to eat food with pits in it. Ryan will eat anything.

One time he ate a piece of a seat cushion. We all agreed that Ms. Todd is way too happy. "Nobody is that happy," said Michael. "People who are happy all the time are weird," I said. "Did you notice that Ms. Todd smiles all the time?" asked Ryan. "She probably smiles when she gets a paper cut or stubs her—"

He never had the chance to finish his sentence, because at that second Mr. Klutz's voice came over the loud- speaker. "I have an announcement to make," said Mr. Klutz. "It is raining out, so we will have indoor recess today. After lunch please return to your classrooms!" "Boooooo!" everybody hollered, even the girls. Bummer in the summer! I hate indoor recess. Recess is the only fun part of the day, and now we would have to stay in the class with that learning lunatic Ms. Todd. After we cleared off the lunch table, me and Ryan and Michael had a

race to see who could walk back to our classroom the slowest. I won. Ms. Todd was in there, all excited and clapping her hands and running around the class for no reason. "Do we have to learn more stuff now?" Ryan asked. "Of course not!" said Ms. Todd. "This is recess. Let's play a game!" "Can we play cops and robbers?" Michael asked. "I call robbers!" "That game sounds dangerous," said Ms. Todd. "How about another game?" "Let's play army," said Ryan. "Boys against girls. Bang, bang! You're dead!" "Can anybody think of a game that

doesn't involve shooting?" asked Ms. Todd. "We could play NASCAR," I suggested. "There's no shooting in NASCAR." "I never heard of that game, A.J.," said Ms. Todd. "How do you play NASCAR?" "We run around in circles," I told her, "and every few laps we smash into each other." "That sounds quite violent," said Ms. Todd. "Yeah, and it's cool, too," I told her. I knew that if we didn't come up with something fast, one of the girls would sug- gest square dancing or some corny game. "I know a good game we can play," I

suggested. "It's called see who can hit the softest." "Now that doesn't sound violent," said Ms. Todd. "How do you play?" I told Neil the nude kid to stand up and see how softly he could hit me. He barely tapped my arm. "That's pretty soft," I told Neil the nude kid. "Now it's my turn." I made a fist with my hand and punched Neil the nude kid really hard on the arm.