4 Ch4-My Head Almost Exploded

Chapter 4 My Head Almost Exploded "Is everybody ready to learn?" asked Ms. Todd. "Yes!" yelled all the girls. "No!" yelled all the boys. "All right!" yelled Ms. Todd. Ms. Todd is one of those teachers who is full of excitement all the time. She

never sits down. She runs around for no reason, clapping her hands, like my mom does when she drinks too much coffee. If you ask me, Ms. Todd should calm down. She's like one of those windup toy monkeys that plays the drums. Maybe after she has been a teacher for a few years, she'll

become normal and not so excited about teaching kids stuff anymore. "Let's start with reading!" said Ms. Toddy smiling her smiley face and clap- ping her hands and running around the class for no reason. "I love to read," said Andrea, who loves everything. "I'm going to write a chil- dren's book someday, and the main char- acter will be named Andrea. Then I'll be famous!" "I love reading children's books," said Ms. Todd. "I read them all the time!" "Even when you're sleeping?" asked Ryan. "Even when you're driving?" asked Michael.

"Even when you're in the shower?" I asked. "Well, no, not then," Ms. Todd said. "So why did you say you read them all the time?" asked Michael. "It's just an expression," said Ms. Todd. "Is an expression the same thing as lying?" I asked. Ms. Todd stopped smiling her smiley face and wrote something down on that piece of paper again. I wished she

would stop doing that. Next she read to us for about a million hundred hours. She read a story about a girl and her dog. It was the most boring story in the history of the world. Nothing ever happened in that dumb story. I almost fell asleep, but then the girl's dog got hit by a car and the story got inter- esting. Some of the girls were crying. What a bunch of babies! After the dog died, Ms. Todd stopped reading the story. She taught us about the solar system and the explorers and Australia and Helen Keller and lots of other stuff, too. She taught us so much stuff that I had a headache.

My friend Billy who lives around the corner told me that if you learn too much stuff too fast, your head will explode. I'm going to have to forget some of the old stuff I learned to make room for all the new stuff Ms. Todd taught us. I don't want my head to explode. Finally the lunch bell rang, and Ms. Todd had to stop teaching us stuff. Michael was the line leader as we walked to the vomitorium to eat. "Ms. Todd is a horrible teacher," I said. "All she does is make us learn stuff." "I miss Miss Daisy," Ryan said. "She never taught us anything." "I miss miss Miss Daisy," said Michael.