5 Ch5-The Middle of Nowhere

Chapter 5 The Middle of Nowhere Mrs. Kormel drove for a million hun- dred hours, and we still hadn't reached the nude kid's house. Where was it? Now Show and Share was over for sure. We probably missed math, too. If we didn't get to school soon, we would miss our DEAR time. That stands for Drop Everything and Read.

I hate reading. Finally we drove by some big trucks and there was a sign that said DETOUR. "Hey, we're going to take a tour," said Ryan. "Tours are cool!" "Detours aren't tours, dumbhead!" said Andrea. "Workers are fixing the road, so Mrs. Kormel has to get off this road and go another way to the nude kid's house!" "Bix blattinger!" said Mrs. Kormel as she slammed her fist against the steering wheel. I don't know what "bix blattinger" means, but that's what Mrs. Kormel

always says when she gets really angry or frustrated. "What does 'bix blattinger' mean, Mrs. Kormel?" I asked. "Never you mind!" said Mrs. Kormel. "I think Mrs. Kormel must have said a bad word," said Ryan. "But she said it in her secret language," Michael said, "so we won't know what it means." You shouldn't say bad words. We all tried to figure out which bad word Mrs. Kormel said. I had heard most

of the bad words, but Michael and Ryan knew a few that I didn't know and they taught them to me. So even though we were really late for school, it was still a learning experience. After we got off the regular road, the road we were on wasn't even a real road. It was more like a jungle or a swamp or something. There were these big plants slapping against the bus windows. The ride was bumpy, and it was still raining. Mrs. Kormel could barely see in front of her. "This is like the rainforest," Andrea said. "I hope we don't get eaten by alliga- tors," said Michael. "Look!" somebody yelled. A family of ducks was crossing the road in front of us.

"They're cute!" shouted all the girls. "Let's run them over!" shouted all the boys. I didn't really want Mrs. Kormel to run

over the ducks, but it was hilarious anyway. Mrs. Kormel kept on driving, but I didn't see the nude kid's house any- where. In fact, I didn't see any houses. Or human beings. "Where are we?" somebody asked. "The middle of nowhere," said Mrs. Kormel. I said it was too bad we weren't at the edge of nowhere. Because if we were at the edge of nowhere, we'd be right next to the edge of somewhere. And the edge of somewhere is near the middle of some- where, which is where we wanted to be. Ryan said we were probably close to the nude kid's house. Because if you were