3 Ch3-My Head Almost Exploded

Chapter 3 My Head Almost Exploded "Bingle boo! Limpus kidoodle," said Mrs. Kormel. Andrea's equally annoying crybaby friend Emily got on the bus in front of her house. She sat down next to Andrea, and they studied Andrea's dumb flash cards together.

"Is everybody here?" asked Mrs. Kormel after she picked up a few more kids. "Yes," we all said. "If you're not here, raise your hand." I knew that was a trick question, because if somebody wasn't there we wouldn't be able to see if their hand was up. But just to be on the safe side, I got up in my seat to see if anybody who wasn't there had their hand up. "Limpus kidoodle, A.J.," said Mrs. Kormel. In case you don't remember, that means "sit down." Mrs. Kormel doesn't like it when we get out of our seats. "No standing on the seats," said Mrs. Kormel.

"Can I kneel on my seat?" I asked. "You can only kneel on your seat if your name is Neil. Anyone named Neil may kneel." "Can I stand if my name is Stan?" asked Ryan. "Okay," said Mrs. Kormel. "If your name

is Stan, you can stand." "I can't stand sitting down," Michael said. "Nobody can stand sitting down," Ryan said. "If you're sitting down, you're not standing." "Can you crouch if your name is Crouch?" I asked. "There's nobody named Crouch!" Andrea told me. She thinks she knows everything. "Oh yeah?" I said. "What about that guy on Sesame Street named Oscar the Crouch?" "That's Oscar the Grouch, dumbhead!" Andrea said.

I knew that. "Now that we're all here, how about singing a song to make the ride go quicker?" suggested Mrs. Kormel. "Let's sing 'The Wheels on the Bus'!" said Andrea. "I love that song." "I hate that song," I said. "Can we sing 'Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall'?" Mrs. Kormel said we couldn't sing about beer because kids aren't allowed to drink beer. I wouldn't want to drink beer even if I was allowed to. My dad gave me a sip of his beer once. I thought I was gonna throw up. Mrs. Kormel said we could sing "Ninety-nine Bottles of Pop on the Wall" if we wanted to. The girls started singing "The Wheels

on the Bus!" The boys started singing "Ninety-nine Bottles of Pop on the Wall." Me and Michael and Ryan tried to sing louder than all the girls. Andrea and Emily tried to sing louder than all the boys. It was really loud in there. Soon everybody on the bus was scream- ing, and kids were bouncing around like Mexican jumping beans. I covered my ears so my head wouldn't explode. Something about being on a school bus makes you want to go crazy. Maybe it's all that yellow. I'll bet Mrs. Kormel was sorry she told us to sing. Suddenly she blew her whistle really loud. "Zingy zip!" she yelled.