1 Ch1-Never Kiss Your Mom in Public

Chapter 1 Never Kiss Your Mom in Public My name is A.J. and I hate school. Do you know which is the worst day of the week? If you ask me, it's Monday. Because Monday is the start of five days of school in a row. That's horrible! Tuesday and Wednesday aren't so great either.

第一章千万不要在公共场合亲你的妈妈我叫A.J. 我讨厌学校。你知道一周中最糟糕的一天是哪一天吗? 要我说，今天是星期一。 因为周一是连续五天上课的开始。 这是可怕的!星期二和星期三也不太好。

Thursday is a pretty good day, because then we only have one day of school left before the weekend. Friday is really good, because that's when the school week is over. But the best day of the week is Saturday. I play peewee football on Saturday, and we don't have school again for two whole days. Too bad it was Monday morning. I was waiting in front of my house for the school bus with my mom. "You be a good boy, A.J.," my mom told me. "I will."

星期四是个不错的日子，因为在周末之前我们只剩下一天的课了。 星期五真的很好，因为那是学校一周结束的时候。 但是一周中最好的一天是星期六。 我星期六踢小学生足球，我们整整两天不用上学。 可惜那天是星期一早上。 我和妈妈在家门口等校车。 “你要做个好孩子，aj，”我妈妈对我说。 “我愿意。”

"Don't get into any trouble, A.J.," my mom told me. "I won't." "Remember to raise your hand when you want to talk, A.J.," my mom told me. "I will." "Don't shoot straw wrappers at the girls, A.J.," my mom told me. "I won't." My mom told me about a million hundred other things I wasn't allowed to do until I saw the yellow school bus coming around the corner. "Mom, I promise not to have any fun at all," I said. "Bye!" The bus pulled up. Mrs. Kormel, the

“别惹什么麻烦，aj，”我妈妈告诉我。 “我不会。”“当你想说话的时候记得举手，aj，”我妈妈告诉我。 “我愿意。”“别朝女孩们扔稻草包装纸，aj，”我妈妈告诉我。 “我不会。”我妈妈告诉我，在我看到黄色的校车从拐角处开过来之前，我不能做无数其他的事情。 “妈妈，我保证一点也不好玩，”我说。 “再见!”公共汽车停了下来。科梅尔太太，那个

bus driver, pushed a button and made the little STOP sign pop out the side of the bus so the cars on the street will stop. We call it the magic STOP sign. That thing is cool. "Give Mommy a kiss, A.J." No way I was going to kiss my mother in front of all the kids staring out the bus window. That's the first rule of being a kid. Don't ever kiss your mother when other kids are watching! "Uh, I don't want to be late for school, Mom." "Give Mommy a kiss, A.J." "That's not gonna happen, Mom." "Give Mommy a kiss, A.J." "Over my dead body, Mom."

司机按下一个按钮，让一个小的停止标志从公共汽车的一侧弹出，这样街上的汽车就会停下来。 我们称之为神奇的停止标志。 那东西很酷。“给妈妈一个吻，A.J.” 我不可能在所有盯着车窗的孩子面前亲我妈妈。 这是当孩子的第一准则。 千万不要在其他孩子看着的时候亲你妈妈!“嗯，我不想上学迟到，妈妈。” “给妈妈一个吻，A.J.”“那是不可能的，妈妈。” “给妈妈一个吻，A.J.”“除非我死了，妈妈。”

"Give Mommy a kiss, A.J." "I will if you give me a hundred dollars, Mom," I said. My mother tried to wrap her arms around me, but I know how to get away from tacklers. When Mom went to grab me, I threw her a head fake, spun away,

“给妈妈一个吻，A.J.”“妈妈，如果你给我一百美元，我就去。”我说。 我的母亲试图用双臂抱住我，但我知道如何摆脱拦截者。 当妈妈去抓我的时候，我扔给她一个假头，转身离开，