1 Ch1-I Hate School

My Weird School Book number 1 Miss Daisy Is Crazy!

我的奇葩课本第一册戴西小姐疯了!

Chapter 1 I Hate School! "My name is A.J. I like football and video games, and I hate school." Our teacher, Miss Daisy, was taking attendance. It was the first day of second grade. Miss Daisy told everyone in the class to stand up, say our name, and say something about ourself.

第一章我讨厌学校!“我叫A.J. 我喜欢足球和电子游戏，我讨厌学校。” 我们的老师黛西小姐在点名。 那是二年级的第一天。 黛西老师让班上的每个人都站起来，说出我们的名字，并介绍一下我们自己。

All the kids laughed when I said I hated school. But there was nothing funny about it. I have learned a lot in my eight years. One thing I learned is that there is no reason why kids should have to go to school. If you ask me, kids can learn all we need to learn by watching TV. You can learn important information like which breakfast cereal tastes best and what toys you should buy and which shampoo leaves your hair the shiniest. This is stuff that we'll need to know when we grow up. School is just this dumb thing that grown-ups thought up so they wouldn't

当我说我讨厌学校时，所有的孩子都笑了。 但这一点也不好笑。 我在这八年里学到了很多东西。 我学到的一件事是，孩子们没有理由一定要去上学。 如果你问我，我认为孩子们可以通过看电视学到我们需要学的一切。 你可以学到一些重要的信息，比如哪种早餐麦片味道最好，你应该买什么玩具，哪种洗发水能让你的头发最亮。 这是我们长大后需要知道的事情。 学校不过是大人们想出来的傻东西

have to pay for baby-sitters. When I grow up and have children of my own, I won't make them go to school. They can just ride their bikes and play football and video games all day. They'll be happy and they'll think I'm the greatest father in the world. But for now, I wanted to let my new teacher, Miss Daisy know from the very start how I felt about school. "You know what, A.J.?" Miss Daisy said, "I hate school too." "You do?" We all stared at Miss Daisy. I thought teachers loved school. If they didn't love school, why did they become teachers?

还得花钱请保姆。 等我长大了，有了自己的孩子，我不会让他们去上学。 他们可以整天骑自行车，踢足球和玩电子游戏。 他们会很高兴，他们会认为我是世界上最伟大的父亲。 但是现在，我想让我的新老师黛西小姐从一开始就知道我对学校的感觉。 “你知道吗，A.J.?”黛西小姐说:“我也讨厌上学。” “你做什么?”我们都盯着黛西小姐。 我以为老师喜欢学校。 如果他们不喜欢学校，他们为什么要当老师?

Why would they ever want to go to a school as a grown-up? I know that when I'm a grown-up, I'm not going to go anywhere near a school. "Sure I hate school," Miss Daisy continued. "If I didn't have to be here teaching you, I could be home sitting on my comfortable couch, watching TV and eating bonbons." "Wow!" we all said. "What's a bonbon?" asked Ryan, a kid with black sneakers who was sitting next to me. "Bonbons are these wonderful chocolate treats," Miss Daisy told us. "They're about the size of a large acorn, and you

他们长大了为什么还要去上学呢? 我知道等我长大了，我不会去学校附近的任何地方。 “我当然讨厌上学，”黛西小姐接着说。 “如果我不需要在这里教你，我可能会坐在家里舒适的沙发上，看电视，吃糖果。” “哇!”我们都说。“什么是软糖?”坐在我旁边的一个穿着黑色运动鞋的孩子瑞安问。 黛西小姐告诉我们:“软糖是一种美妙的巧克力点心。” “它们和一颗大橡子差不多大，而你

can pop the whole thing right in your mouth so you don't need a napkin. I could eat a whole box of bonbons in one sitting."

可以把整个东西放进嘴里，这样你就不需要餐巾了。 我可以一口气吃下一整盒糖果。”