4. Spooky and Scary

4/Spooky and Scary Pretty soon, Mother came home from work. I zoomed to her speedy quick. And handed her the broom. "MOTHER! MOTHER! COME ON! COME ON! LET'S GO! LET'S GO GET THE MONSTER!" I hollered. Mother turned her head real slow. And she looked at Grandma Miller. Grandma sucked in her cheeks. "A monster," she said kind of quiet. "Under the bed. We've been waiting for you to come home, so you can bash its head in." I tugged on her sweater. "Plus tell her about the drool, Grandma!" I said.

But Grandma Miller headed to the door. And she said the words I'm outta here. I pulled on Mother's arm. "Come on! Come on, Mother! The monster's really real! 'Cause Paulie Allen Puffer told me everybody has a monster under the bed! Plus that Grace said it can turn invisible. And so that is how come we never saw that guy before." Mother sat down at the kitchen table. And she lifted me onto her lap. Then she said that Paulie Allen Puffer was just trying to scare me. Plus that Grace didn't know what she was talking about. "There is no monster under your bed, Junie B. I promise you. Monsters are not real," she said. "Yes, they are! They are too real! 'Cause Paulie Allen Puffer's brother even said so!

And he is in seventh grade! And he said monsters crawl on your bed! And they fit your head in their mouth! And so that is where the drool comes from! 'Cause I am not even a baby!" Just then, I heard the front door open. It was my daddy! He was home from work, too! "Daddy, Daddy! There's a monster under my bed! Only you said monsters aren't real. But they really, really are!" I pulled on his arm. "Come on, Daddy! Let's get him!" Daddy looked at Mother a real long time. They went in the hall and did whispering. Pretty soon, Daddy came back to me. He said we would look for the monster after dinner. But first we would cook some hamburgers on the grill.

"Oh boy!" I said. "Oh boy! 'Cause hamburgers are my most favorite things in the whole wide world! Plus also I like pasketti and meatballs." After that, me and Daddy went outside. He got a flipper for the hamburgers. Then he gave me a flipper, too. 'Cause I am old enough, that's why. I runned all over with that thing. I flipped a rock and a flower and a dirt ball. Plus also, I flipped a dead lizard I found in the driveway.

Then Mother took my flipper away. 'Cause I am not old enough, that's why. After dinner I took my bath. Then Mother and Daddy read me a story. And they hugged me good night.

"See you in the morning," said Mother. "See you in the morning," said Daddy. I sat up in my bed. "Yeah, only I can't even sleep in here. 'Cause you guys didn't bash that monster yet." Daddy rubbed his tired eyes. "There's no monster, Junie B. There is nothing to be afraid of," he said. Then he kissed me. And he went out of my room. And Mother went with him. I quick got out of bed and followed those two. They turned around and spotted me. "Hello. How are you today?" I said very pleasant. "I am going to sit in the kitchen and not bother anyone. Plus also, I might watch Eyewitness News at Ten." Mother carried me back to bed.