3. The Invisiblest Guy

3/The Invisiblest Guy I ran in my house and hollered for my grandma Helen Miller. "GRANDMA MILLER! GRANDMA HELEN MILLER! I AM SO GLAD TO BE HOME! 'CAUSE TODAY WAS NOT A VERY GOOD DAY AT MY SCHOOL!" Grandma Miller was in the kitchen. She was holding my baby brother named Ollie. I jumped up and down in front of her. "PICK ME UP! PICK ME UP! PICK ME UP!" "I can't right now, Toots," she said. "I've got my hands full with Ollie." "Yeah, only put him on the floor," I said. "'Cause I need a hug down here, Helen."

Grandma Miller leaned down and hugged me. She said don't call her Helen. "Why don't you go change your clothes?" she said. "Then you and I will make some popcorn. And you can tell me all about your day. How does that sound?" Just then, my whole face got happy. 'Cause popcorn is my most favorite thing in the whole wide world! "Hurray!" I shouted. "Hurray for popcorn!" I ran right to my room. Then I took off my shoes and socks. And my feet did a happy dance on the floor. It was called the Happy Feet Popcorn Dance.

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They danced around and around. Also, they jumped on my bed. And they springed to the floor. And they did a giant twirly on my rug. I clapped my hands real joyful. "Grandma! Hey, Grandma! Guess what? I am having a good time in here! And so I am not even thinking about the monster under my bed!" Just then, I did a gulp. 'Cause I shouldn't have said that, I think. I looked at my bed kind of nervous. What if the monster was under there right this very minute? And what if he was looking at my piggy toes? And what if he wanted to eat them? "Oh no," I said. "Oh no. Oh no. 'Cause piggy toes look just like little wiener sausages,

I think." I freezed right where I was standing. "GRANDMA MILLER! GRANDMA MILLER! COME QUICK! I NEED YOU!" I shouted. Grandma Miller flied to my room. Then she picked me up. And she hugged me real tight. "What on earth is the trouble?" she asked. She sat down with me on my bed. "NO, GRANDMA! NO! NO! WE CAN'T SIT HERE!" I squeezed out of her arms and ran out my door. "THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED!" I yelled. I jumped up and down. "RUN, HELEN! RUN LIKE THE WIND!"

Only Grandma Helen Miller didn't run. She just flopped back on my covers. And she closed her eyes. "No, Junie B. Please. We're not going to go through this monster business again, are we? We've talked about monsters before, remember? We decided that there are no such things as monsters." "Yes, but I have new information," I said. "'Cause the monster under my bed turns himself invisible whenever we look at him. Plus at night—after my eyes are closed—he climbs next to me. And he puts my head in his mouth." Grandma Miller did a big breath. Then she went to the kitchen. And she brought back my daddy's flashlight. She shined it under my bed. "No monster, Junie B. None. I don't see one single monster under this bed," she said.