1. The Cheese Man

Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed

琼·b·琼斯的床下有个怪物

1/The Cheese Man My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all. I am in the grade of afternoon kindergarten. Today we got school pictures taken at that place. School pictures is when you wear your bestest dress. And you go to the cafeteria. And a cheese man is there. He makes you say cheese. Only I don't actually know why. Then he takes pictures of you. And your mother has to buy them. Or else you will get your feelings hurt.

我的名字叫朱尼·B。 琼斯。B代表比阿特丽斯。 除了我不喜欢碧翠丝。 我只是喜欢B，仅此而已。 我在下午幼儿园的年级。 今天我们在那个地方拍了校园照。 学校照片是你穿最好的裙子的时候。 你去了自助餐厅。 那里有个卖奶酪的。 他让你说奶酪。只是我不知道为什么。 然后他给你拍照。 你妈妈还得去买。 否则你的感情会受到伤害。

School pictures is a racket, I think. I wore my new dress with the dinosaur on the front. "A dinosaur, huh?" said the cheese man. I smoothed my skirt very lovely. "Yes," I said. "It is a Tyrannosaurus Dottie." "You mean Tyrannosaurus Rex," he said. "No. I mean Tyrannosaurus Dottie. 'Cause Rex is the boy. And Dottie is the girl," I explained. The cheese man stood behind his camera. "Say cheese," he told me. "Yeah, only guess what? I don't actually know why I have to say that word. 'Cause what's cheese got to do with it?" I asked. "Cheese makes you smile," said the cheese man.

我觉得学校的照片就是一场骗局。 我穿着前面有恐龙图案的新裙子。 “恐龙，嗯?”卖奶酪的人说。 我把裙子熨得很漂亮。 “是的，”我说。“这是一只多蒂暴龙。” “你是说雷克斯暴龙，”他说。 “没有。我是说多蒂暴龙。 因为雷克斯才是那个男孩。多蒂就是那个女孩，”我解释道。 卖奶酪的人站在相机后面。 “说cheese，”他告诉我。“是啊，你猜怎么着? 我也不知道我为什么要说这个词。 因为这和奶酪有什么关系?”我问。 “奶酪让你微笑，”卖奶酪的人说。

I shook my head. "Not me. Cheese doesn't make me smile," I said. "'Cause sometimes I eat a cheese sandwich for lunch. And I don't even giggle when I swallow that thing." The cheese man did a big breath. "Could you please just say it?" he asked. "Yes," I said. "I can please just say it. Only don't forget to tell me when you're ready. 'Cause one time my grampa Frank Miller was taking my picture. And he didn't tell me he was ready. And then one of my eyes turned out opened. And the other one turned out closed." I made the face to show him. "See? See my eyes? See how one of them is opened and the other one is…" All of a sudden, the cheese man took my picture.

我摇了摇头。“不是我。奶酪不会让我笑，”我说。 “因为有时候我午餐吃奶酪三明治。 当我吞下那东西的时候，我甚至都不会傻笑。” 卖奶酪的人深深地吸了一口气。 “你能说出来吗?”他问道。 “是的，”我说。“我可以直接说出来。 只是准备好了别忘了告诉我。 因为有一次我爷爷弗兰克·米勒给我拍照。 他也没告诉我他准备好了。 然后我的一只眼睛睁开了。 而另一家却关门了。” 我做了个鬼脸给他看。 “看到了吗?看到我的眼睛了吗?看其中一个是怎么打开的，另一个是……”突然，卖奶酪的人拍了我的照片。

My mouth came wide open at him. "HEY! HOW COME YOU DID THAT? HOW COME YOU TOOK MY PICTURE? 'CAUSE I WASN'T EVEN READY YET!" The cheese man kept on clicking his camera. Pretty soon he looked at the next person in line. "Next," he said. I stamped my foot. "Yeah, only I wasn't ready, I tell you! And so I need another turn!" I said. Just then, my teacher came over. And she pulled me away from there. She sat me next to her on a bench. Her name is Mrs. She has another name, too. But I just like Mrs. and that's all.

我对他张大了嘴。 “嘿!你怎么会那样做? 你为什么拍我的照片? 因为我还没准备好呢!”卖奶酪的人不停地按照相机。 很快，他看了看队伍里的下一个人。 “下一个，”他说。我跺了跺脚。 “是啊，不过我告诉你，我还没准备好!”所以我需要再来一次!”我说。 就在这时，我的老师走了过来。 她把我从那里拉了出来。 她让我坐在她旁边的长凳上。 她的名字是太太，她还有另外一个名字。 但我只是喜欢夫人，仅此而已。

Mrs. said settle down to me. Then me and her watched the rest of the children get their pictures taken. My bestest friend named Lucille went next. She had a blue satin ribbon in her hair. "My nanna says this ribbon brings out the blue in my eyes," she told the cheese man. She opened them real wide. "See them? See their color? They are robin's egg blue…with just a hint of lavender." The cheese man sucked in his cheeks. He was getting fusstration in him, I think. "Could you please just say cheese," he grouched. Lucille smiled real big with all her teeth. "Cheese!" she sang very loud. "Cheese! Cheese! Cheesie, cheese, cheese!"

太太叫我安静下来。 然后我和她看着其他孩子拍照。 接下来是我最好的朋友露西尔。 她的头发上扎着一条蓝色缎带。 “我奶奶说这条丝带衬托出了我蓝色的眼睛，”她告诉奶酪人。 她把眼睛睁得大大的。 “看到他们?看到它们的颜色了吗? 它们是知更鸟的蛋蓝色……还有一点薰衣草的味道。” 卖奶酪的人吮吸着他的脸颊。 我想他是有点沮丧了。 “你能直接说奶酪吗?”他抱怨道。 露西尔咧着嘴笑得很开心。 “奶酪!”她大声地唱着。 “奶酪!奶酪!奶酪，奶酪，奶酪!”