7. Knock Knock

7/Knock Knock I sat down next to Handsome Warren. "Guess what? I'm not even going to bother you," I said. "I'm just going to sit here. And mind my own personal beeswax. And that's all." I thought a little bit. "Plus here's another good thing. You don't even have to look at my princess clothes if you don't want to. 'Cause clothes is not how I make friends," I said. Handsome Warren didn't move. I looked at his head. "Guess what? There's something in your hair," I told him. I looked harder at that thing.

"I think it's a teeny leaf. Or else maybe it's a piece of Kleenex," I said. He still didn't move. "Want me to brush it off for you?" I asked. "'Cause that would not be any trouble. And I would be happy to do it." I waited very patient for him to answer. Then I tapped on him some more. "Yeah, only I really think you should do something," I said. "'Cause what if somebody blowed their nose on a teeny Kleenex? And then it flied in the wind. And got stuck in your hair. Did you ever think of that? Huh? 'Cause that would not be pleasant." He didn't answer. "Whoever wants me to get the Kleenex out of his hair, raise your hand," I said. All of a sudden, Handsome Warren uncovered his angry face.

"I thought you weren't going to talk!" he hollered. "I thought you were going to mind your own personal beeswax!" I smiled very cute. "Yeah, only I am minding my own personal beeswax, Warren," I said. "I just needed to tell you about the teeny Kleenex. And so now I'm all done talking. Period. The end." Handsome Warren rolled his eyes way up at the sky. He covered up with his arms again. I waited some more. "Okay, here's the problem," I said. "The teeny Kleenex is still there. And so how would you like me to handle this?" Handsome Warren put his hands over his ears. "Stop it!" he yelled. "Stop talking to me! Why are you sitting here anyway? Why don't

you just go with your stupid friends and leave me alone?" "'Cause I am being nice, that's why," I said. "Plus also I am understanding your feelings. On account of Mother said that is how I make friends." Handsome Warren did a grouchy face. "I'm not your friend," he said. "I don't have any friends at this school. All my friends were at my other school. But then my dad made me move here. And now nothing is the same. I hate this place! I hate it! I hate it!" Then he quick hided his head in his knees again. And he started to cry. He tried to be quiet. Only I still could hear him sniffling in there. It made me feel sad inside. I patted him very gentle.

"Sorry, Warren. Sorry you feel bad. Sorry. Sorry," I said real soft. Just then a good idea popped in my head. "Hey. I know. Maybe I can get you a Band- Aid. Would you like that, Warren? 'Cause sometimes Band-Aids make things better… "Or else here's another good idea. Maybe I could tickle you. 'Cause tickling makes you laugh, right? And so I would be glad to give it a try." I jiggled him. "Want to try on my golden crown, Warren? Huh? Want to? 'Cause a golden crown makes you feel like a million bucks." I took it off to give to him. He didn't take it. I put my golden crown on the ground. Then I took off my princess collar and my Cinderella gloves. And I put them on the

ground, too. After that, I sat very still. And I listened to Warren being sad. Finally I did a sigh. And I tried my very last idea. "Knock knock," I said. Handsome Warren didn't answer. "Knock knock," I said a little bit louder. Then I kept on saying knock knock, until that guy got sick of it. "OH, ALL RIGHT! WHO'S THERE?" he grouched. "Hatch," I said. "Hatch who?" said Handsome Warren. "HA HA! MADE YOU SNEEZE! GET IT, WARREN? GET IT? YOU SAID HATCHOO! DO YOU GET IT? "Knock knock," I said again.