7. Stinky

7 Stinky Mr. Scary put our elephants on his desk. He did a sigh at May and me. Then he went to the board. And he thought for a minute. "Okay, you two. I'm going to put your friends on our Thankful List. But I am not happy with the way you behaved just now. And we will definitely talk about this later," he said. Roger looked over at us. "Welcome to the club," he said. Mr. Scary frowned at him. Then he added our elephants to the list on the board.

After he finished, he stood back. And he read the list out loud. 1. CRANBERRY JELLY IN A CAN 2. EXPLODING BISCUITS 3. NIPSY DOODLES

4. RAINBOW SPRINKLES 5. TOILET PAPER 6. MONEY 7. PHILIP JOHNNY BOB 8. POLICE SERGEANT CHUCK "Well," he said. "This list might not win us a pumpkin pie, but it certainly is unusual, isn't it?" I smiled and nodded. "Yes," I said. "Plus we don't even care about the pumpkin pie, remember that? Pumpkin pie makes us vomit." Mr. Scary looked at me. "Yes. I do remember that, Junie B. But thank you for mentioning it again," he said. "Not a problem," I said. Just then, Lennie waved his hand real urgent. "Ooooh! Ooooh! Here is a little pumpkin pie trick I learned last Thanksgiving," he said. "I don't actually swallow the pie. Instead, I just keep it in my mouth until my

grandmother thinks I swallowed it. And then I run into the bathroom. And I spit it in the sink." Mr. Scary closed his eyes. "Good to know, Len," he said. Lucille jumped up and did a fluff. "I have a pumpkin pie trick, too," she said. "First, I put the pie on my fork. Then I plop it in the rich, expensive napkin that is on my lap. And I wad it all up. And then I skip it into the kitchen. And I give it to our rich, expensive chef." She did a few more fluffs. "After that, I don't know what happens to it," she said. Then she spun herself back into her chair. All of Room One thought for a minute. Then other children started calling out pumpkin pie tricks, too. And so Mr. Scary quick held up his hand. "Stop. Please, boys and girls. I get it that

you don't like pumpkin pie," he said. "It's just that I don't want anyone to be disappointed if we don't win the contest." All of us looked around at each other. Then Herbert raised his hand. "But see… we think that you're the one who is disappointed, Mr. Scary," he said. "May said that you hate our Thankful List because we're not being thankful for the right stuff." May popped up from her seat. "I tried to get them to change it, Mr. Scary," she said. "My mother, Mrs. Mary Murkee, made us a brand-new Thankful List you would really like. But everyone wanted to stay with Nipsy Doodles and exploding biscuits. So it is their fault we won't win that disgusting pie for you!" I looked at her real angry. "I would like to explode a biscuit on your head right now," I said.

Then everyone laughed. Except not May. Plus not Mr. Scary. He did a glare at me. "Whoops. Sorry," I said. "That was very too harsh." Mr. Scary turned back to the class. "Boys and girls, please believe me. I will not be disappointed if we don't win the pumpkin pie," he said. "I promise." He paused for a second. Then his face got a little smile on it. And he made his voice real secret. "Shh. Don't tell anyone, okay? But I don't like pumpkin pie, either," he whispered. Room One got very quiet. Then HA! All of us started laughing at once! 'Cause sometimes teachers are just like normal people, almost! Mr. Scary looked at the clock. "Okay, everyone. I think we have time for two more