4. Diving

4 Diving Mr. Scary stared at Roger a real long time. He said they would talk about this later. Talk about this later is the school word for getting yelled at when there's more time. Roger slumped way down in his seat. After that, Mr. Scary looked back at the class. "Okay, everyone. We're going to continue now," he said. "But this time, please raise your hand if you actually brought something to show." Lucille sprang out of her chair. "I DID! I DID!" she hollered. "I BROUGHT THE BEST THING YOU

EVER SAW!" Then she reached down. And she pulled a big, giant purse out of her Thankful Bag. "Wait till you see this, children!" she said. "I brought something that everyone in the whole world is thankful for! And I have LOTS and LOTS of it!" After that, she turned the big, giant purse upside down. And wowie wow wow! Out came… "MONEY!" shouted Lucille. "MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! I AM THANKFUL FOR MONEY!" Room One did a gasp at that sight. Then all of our mouths fell open at once. And our eyes got bigger and bigger. And then… BAM! WE DIVED FOR IT!

"MONEY!" we hollered. "MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!" I started to grab. "AND IT'S THE PAPER KIND!" I yelled. Lucille laughed real happy.

Then she turned her Thankful Bag inside out. And more money fell out on top of us! "WHEE! WOOO-HOOO! YIPPEE!" we hollered. Mr. Scary was hollering, too, I think. But it is hard to hear your teacher when you are money-diving. Finally, he raised his voice to a louder level. It was the level that means business. "GO BACK TO YOUR SEATS!" he hollered. "NOW!" Everyone stopped grabbing. And they hurried back to their seats speedy fast. Except for not actually me. Instead, I kept on sitting on the floor. 'Cause I had a teensy problem. Mr. Scary glared his eyes at me. "Junie B. Jones? Did you hear me? I said, go back to your seat." I nodded real nervous. "Yes," I said. "Only I have a teensy

problem." I pointed at his shoe. "You're actually standing on a fiver. And so if you could just lift up this one shoe right here, I can get my money and be on my way." I tapped on the foot he should lift. Then I waited and waited for it to move. But it did not actually budge. Instead… YIKES! I felt myself getting lifted off the floor! And I got carried right back to my seat! Mr. Scary sat me in my chair. I smiled real twitchy. And I smoothed my skirt. "Okey-doke," I said. "I believe I will just sit here now and behave myself." Mr. Scary kept on standing there. I waved my fingers at him. "All rightie, then. Have a good day," I said. He took some deep breaths. Deep breaths are what teachers do to keep

from screaming. Room One stayed quiet as a mouse. I could hear Mr. Scary's nose whistle. But now was not the time to tell him he needed a tissue, probably. Finally, he finished breathing. Then he picked up Lucille's big, giant purse. And he went around the circle. And he made all of us put her money back. Sheldon hung his head. "I'm sorry," he said. "Free money makes me cuckoo." Herb nodded. "Me too," he said. "Especially the paper kind. At my house, I don't even get an allowance." "Me neither," said Roger. "My parents expect me to live at home for free." Lennie rolled his eyes. "Oh. Well, I get a whopping quarter for taking out the trash. Seriously. That's it. One quarter." He threw his hands in the air. "I mean, why