4. Going Last

4 Going Last Wednesday Dear first-grade journal, Mother and Daddy were not good sports about the note. They said it is not funny to throw someone off a sleigh. That made me laugh all over again. I got sent to my room for a time-out.

去上星期三亲爱的一年级日记：妈妈和爸爸对那张便条很不高兴。 他们说把人从雪橇上扔下去一点都不好玩。 这使我又笑了起来。 我被罚回房间休息了。

Grown-ups do not understand humor. From, Junie B., First Greater I put down my pencil. And I glared my eyes at May's head. She did not look up from her journal. "I know you're staring at me, Junie Jones. But I don't care that we got notes sent home," she said. "My mother was proud of me, in fact. She said that you deserved to get tattled on." I glared harder. Sometimes if you glare hard enough, you can melt people's heads. I saw that on a movie commercial once. It was PG-13, I believe. I kept squinting and glaring. But May's head did not melt.

成年人不懂幽默。 我放下了铅笔。 我瞪着梅的头。 她没有从日记中抬起头来。 “我知道你在盯着我看，琼·琼斯。 但我不在乎我们收到寄回家的纸条，”她说。 “事实上，我母亲为我感到骄傲。 她说你活该挨打。” 我瞪得更紧了。有时候，如果你瞪得够狠，你可以把人的头融化。 我曾经在一个电影广告上看到过。 我记得是PG-13。我不停地眯着眼睛，瞪着眼睛。 但是梅的头并没有融化。

Finally, I rested my eyes. I will try to melt her again at lunch. Just then, Mr. Scary stood up at his desk. And he said to put our journals away. "Boys and girls, today is the day for our first visit to the Holiday Gift Shop in the media center. Remember?" he said. "I sent a notice about it home to your parents last week." He smiled. "Today we'll just be looking at the gifts," he said. "Then, on Friday, we'll go back with our money and buy the things we want." I waved my hand all around. "Guess what, Mr. Scary? Guess what? My mother said I get to spend one whole dollar on every person in my family! And that adds up to five entire dollars!" I said. Lucille raised her hand. "I can spend all the money in the world,"

最后，我休息了一下眼睛。 午餐时我再试着融化她。 就在这时，吓人先生从他的办公桌前站了起来。 他说把我们的日记收起来。 “孩子们，今天是我们第一次参观媒体中心的节日礼品店的日子。 记得吗？”他说。“上周我给你父母寄了个通知。” 他笑了。“今天我们只看礼物，”他说。 “然后，到了星期五，我们就带着钱回去买我们想要的东西。” 我四处挥挥手。 “你猜怎么着，吓人先生？”你猜怎么着? 我妈妈说我可以在家里的每个人身上花一美元！加起来整整五美元！”我说。 露西尔举起了手。“我可以花光全世界的钱。”

she said. "I'm rich." She stood up and fluffed herself. "My family has more money than you can shake a stick at." Mr. Scary stared at her a real long time. "Yes, well, fortunately, we don't need to be rich to shop at the gift shop, Lucille," he said at last. "Everything there is very affordable. Does everyone know what affordable means?" "I do! I do!" I called out. "Affordable means cheap! My grampa Frank Miller loves cheap." Sheldon jumped up. "Hey, my grampa loves cheap, too! My gramma calls him Cheap Old Ned." Mr. Scary did a chuckle. "Before we go to the gift shop, we're going to draw names for our Secret Santa gift party. That way, you'll be able to look for your Secret Santa gifts while you're down there,

她说。“我有钱。”她站起来，抖了抖自己。 “我家里的钱多得你都摇不动棍子。” 吓人先生盯着她看了好长时间。 “是的，好吧，幸运的是，我们不需要很有钱才能在礼品店购物，露西尔，”他最后说。 “那里的一切都很实惠。 大家都知道负担得起是什么意思吗？”“我做的!我做的!”我喊道。 “买得起就是便宜！”我爷爷弗兰克·米勒喜欢便宜的东西。” 谢尔顿跳了起来。“嘿，我爷爷也喜欢便宜的！”我奶奶叫他小气的老奈德。” 吓人先生咯咯地笑了。“在我们去礼品店之前，我们要为我们的秘密圣诞老人礼物派对抽名字。 这样，你就可以在那里寻找你的秘密圣诞老人礼物了，

too," he said. "We've been talking about this party all week. Can anyone tell me the most important rule about being a Secret Santa?" Room One shouted the rule together. "YOU MUST KEEP THE SECRET!" Mr. Scary did a thumbs-up. "Yes! Excellent! After you pick your name today, you must keep the name a secret," he said. "If you don't keep the secret then you're not really a Secret Santa, are you?" After that, he carried around a basket with everyone's names in it. And all of the children closed their eyes. And they picked a name. Only too bad for me. 'Cause I am in the very last seat of the very last row. And so—when Mr. Scary finally got to me

也是，”他说。“我们整个星期都在讨论这个派对。 谁能告诉我做神秘圣诞老人最重要的规则是什么？”一号房间一起喊出了规则。 “你必须保守秘密！”吓人先生竖起大拇指。 “是啊!太好了!你今天选好名字后，一定要保密。”他说。 “如果你不保守秘密，那你就不是真正的神秘圣诞老人，对吧？”从那以后，他随身带着一个篮子，里面装着每个人的名字。 所有的孩子都闭上了眼睛。 他们选了一个名字。对我来说太糟糕了。 因为我坐在最后一排的最后一个座位上。 所以当恐怖先生最终找到我的时候

—there was only one dumb name left in the whole entire basket! And here is the dumbest part of all. My teacher pretended I should be happy about it. "Congratulations, Junie B. Jones!" he said. "You have the honor of choosing the final name!" I drummed my fingers very annoyed. "Okay, see one name left is not actually called choosing," I said. "One name left is called take it or leave it." I crossed my mad arms. "I hate being in this seat, Mr. Scary. I hate it, I hate it! I get all the bad stuff back here," I said. "Even on the very first day of school, I got the only crayons that were already used." Mr. Scary looked up at the ceiling. "Yes, Junie B. I know that. We all know

——整个篮子里只剩下一个哑巴名字了！这是最愚蠢的部分。 我的老师假装我应该为此感到高兴。 “恭喜你，朱妮·B。 琼斯！”他说。“你有选择最终名字的荣幸！”我非常恼火地敲着手指。 “好吧，剩下一个名字其实不叫选择，”我说。 “剩下的一个名字叫‘要么接受，要么离开’。” 我把发疯的双臂交叉在一起。“我讨厌坐在这个座位上，吓人先生。 我讨厌它，我讨厌它！我把所有不好的东西都拿回来了，”我说。 “甚至在上学的第一天，我就得到了唯一一支已经用过的蜡笔。” 吓人先生抬头看了看天花板。 “是的，朱妮·b，我知道。 我们都知道