7. Wink, Wink

7/Wink, Wink Another plan did not come easy. I thinked and thinked for a real long time. Finally, I tapped on my bestest friend Lucille. "Want to help me, Lucille?" I asked. "Want to help me figure out my secret admirer?" Lucille did mad eyes at me. "Just because you have a secret admirer doesn't mean you're prettier than me," she said very annoyed. I looked surprised at her. "I never said I was prettier, Lucille," I said. "It's just that someone in Room Nine loves me better than he loves you. And I keep on wondering who it is."

Lucille leaned close to my face. "It's a cuckoo head boy, that's who it is," she said. After that, she scooted her chair to the end of the table. And she turned her head away from me. I did a mad breath at that girl. "Keep acting like that, and you'll be sweeping your own castle," I said. After that, I looked all around Room Nine. And guess who I saw? I saw Crybaby William, that's who! Crybaby William sits right behind me. And is the shyest guy I ever heard of. And so maybe he might be my secret admirer! I spinned around in my chair and waved at him. "Hello, shy boy," I said real cute.

William looked nervous of me. "What do you want?" he said. I wrinkled up my nose very darling. "Yeah, only you don't even have to be shy of me anymore, William. 'Cause I think I know your secret," I said. After that, I put my chin on his table. And I winked my eye at him. Only I'm not actually good at winking. And so I have to say the words. "Wink, wink, William," I said. "Wink, wink, wink. See my eye? See how it is trying to wink at you?" William's face started to sweat.

"Turn around, please," he said. I did a giggle. 'Cause that admirer boy was shyer than I thought. "You are a silly sausage, William," I said. Then I tried to tickle him under his chin. But William swatted my hand away. I tapped my fingers on the table.

"Okay. Here's the thing, William. Swatting my hand is not actually that admiring. And so please do not do that again." After that, I tried to tickle his chin again. But this time, he ducked under the table. I did a frown. 'Cause something did not seem right here. Finally, I bended my head down and I peeked at him. "I'm going to take a wild guess here, William. You're not actually my secret admirer, are you?" I asked. "No!" said William. "No, no, no!" After that, I did a big sigh. And I turned my chair back to my own table. I looked all around Room Nine again. And guess what boy I saw next? I saw Paulie Allen Puffer, that's who! And he is always teasing me! And so maybe he is

my secret admirer! I zoomed to his table speedy fast. "Wink, wink, Paulie Allen Puffer," I said. "Wink, wink, wink." "What's wrong with your eye?" he said. I puckered up my lips. And I blowed that guy a kiss. "Thank you for the beautiful valentime, Paul," I said. Paulie Allen Puffer looked strange at me. "Paul? Who's Paul? What beautiful valentine? My valentine was the one with the oozy slime monster on the front," he said. "Don't you remember it?" Just then, I made a face. 'Cause I remembered it, of course. I hurried up back to my seat again. That's when I saw a boy named Ham. And Ham hardly even knows me. And so he was