8. Hats

8/Hats I didn't know what to do. How could I even go to school? 'Cause everyone would see my sprigs! And they would laugh and laugh! That is how come I couldn't stop crying. Only all of a sudden, a miracle happened. And it is called I spotted my hat with the devil horns. It was sitting on my desk right where Mother left it. And that hat gave me a good idea! I quick picked it up and put it on my head. And guess what? It hided my sprigs! "Hey! If I wear this to school, no one will

even see my hair!" I said real relieved. Only just then, I did a teeny frown. "Yeah, only what if I'm playing on the playground… and somebody steals my devil horn hat off my head? Then everyone will see my sprigs. And they will laugh and laugh." I thought real hard. "Hmm," I said. "Maybe I can wear two hats. That way, if somebody pulls off one hat, I will still have another hat left." I spotted my shower cap. It was lying on my chair. I put it on under my hat. "Yeah, only what if I'm playing on the playground… and somebody pulls off my devil horn hat… and then they pull off my shower cap, too? Then everyone will see my sprigs. And they will laugh and laugh."

I tapped on my chin. "Three hats!" I said. "I will wear three hats to school! 'Cause that will give me a whole extra hat of protection!" I opened my bottom drawer and found my ski mask. 'Cause ski masks hide your whole entire everything! I put the ski mask on my head. Then I put on my shower cap. And my hat with the devil horns. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Now nobody can see anything! Not even my nose!" After that, I got dressed. And I skipped real happy to the kitchen.

Grampa Miller's eyes popped out at me. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't go to school looking like that," he said. That's how come I had to tell him a teensy beansy fib. "Yeah, only today is crazy hat day. And my teacher said we can wear however many hats

we want," I said. Grampa Miller scratched his head. Then he watched me eat my sandwich through my mouth hole. And he drove me to school. I skipped into Room Nine very joyful. I sat down at my table next to Lucille. "Hello," I said. "It's me. It's Junie B. Jones. See me, Lucille? See me? I am wearing an attractive hat assortment." Just then, a meanie boy named Jim pointed and shouted. "HEY, EVERYBODY! LOOK AT LOONEY B. JONES! WHAT A GOONIE BIRD!" he shouted. Then all of a sudden, he speeded across the room! And he grabbed my devil horn hat right off my head!

All of Room Nine laughed and laughed. 'Cause they saw my shower cap, of course! Only lucky for me, because just then my teacher hurried up into the room. And she took control of people. Her name is Mrs. She has another name, too. But I just like Mrs. and that's all. Mrs. grabbed my hat from that meanie Jim. And she gave it back to me. Then she yelled at all the children. And she took me into the hall. Mrs. bended down next to me. "Okay, kiddo. What's the story here?" she asked. I rocked back and forth on my feet. 'Cause I didn't want to tell her the story here, that's why.