3

Mom decided it would be a good idea to expose me to a foreign language early on, so when I was in first grade, she would put the Spanish- speaking channels on TV while we ate breakfast. Mom would repeat whatever they said on the television, but when SHE said the words they came out a little bit different. TENGO HAMBRE! TANGO HAMBURGERS! I ended up learning all sorts of phrases that weren't right. For example, the way you're SUPPOSED to say "What's your name" in Spanish is "Cómo te lamas." Well, I know that NOW because I learned it in my middle school Spanish class.

妈妈认为让我早点接触外语是个好主意，所以当我一年级的时候，她会在我们吃早餐的时候把西班牙语频道放在电视上。 妈妈会重复他们在电视上说的任何话，但当她说出来的时候，这些话就有点不一样了。 天吾HAMBRE !探戈汉堡!我最终学会了各种不正确的短语。 例如，在西班牙语中，你说“你叫什么名字”的方式应该是“Cómo te lamas”。 嗯，我现在知道了，因为我在中学的西班牙语课上学过。

But when I was little, Mom taught me that "What's your name" in Spanish is "Te amo," which ACTUALLY means "I love you." I just wish I had known that before I said it to a million different people. Today, Mom played the first two Spanish CDs, but she got frustrated that no one seemed to be paying attention. So she switched gears and said we were gonna play a car game she read about in her magazine.

但是当我还小的时候，妈妈教我“你叫什么名字”在西班牙语里是“Te amo”，意思是“我爱你”。 我真希望在对无数人说之前我就知道了。 今天，妈妈放了前两张西班牙语cd，但她很沮丧，因为似乎没有人注意到她。 所以她改变了主意，说我们要玩一个她在杂志上看到的汽车游戏。

The game was called Alphabet Groceries, and you play it like this: The first player has to name an item you can get at the grocery store that starts with the letter "A." The next person has to come up with an item that starts with "B," and so on. If a player CAN'T come up with an item that starts with their letter, they're out of the game. Mom said I should go first, so I said "apple," which I guess was kind of an obvious choice. Rodrick was up next, but he said he couldn't come up with any food that started with "B." I'm pretty sure he was lying to get out of having to play the game, but with Rodrick, you never know.

这个游戏叫做“字母表杂货”，你是这样玩的：第一个玩家必须说出一件你能在杂货店买到的以字母“a”开头的东西。 下一个人必须想出一个以“B”开头的项目，以此类推。 如果玩家不能想出以字母开头的道具，他们就会被淘汰。 妈妈说我应该先说，所以我说“苹果”，我想这是一个显而易见的选择。 下一个是罗德里克，但他说他想不出任何以“b”开头的食物。 我很确定他说谎是为了逃避游戏，但对于罗德里克，谁知道呢。

When Rodrick got knocked out, the turn went to Manny, who came up with his word right away. BAPPLE! Mom started clapping, but I pointed out that "bapple" isn't a real word. She said Manny is just learning the alphabet and that we all need to "encourage" thim. I quit in protest, and from then on it was only Manny, Mom, and Dad playing. I really wished my earplugs weren't buried in my duffel bag under a pile of suitcases, because the next hour and a half was pretty painful. ZAPPLE!

当罗德里克被击倒时，轮到曼尼了，他马上做出了承诺。 BAPPLE !妈妈开始鼓掌，但我指出“苹果”不是一个真正的词。 她说曼尼只是在学习字母表，我们都需要“鼓励”他。 我辞职以示抗议，从那以后就只有曼尼、妈妈和爸爸在玩了。 我真希望我的耳塞没有被埋在我的行李袋里，埋在一堆行李箱下面，因为接下来的一个半小时非常痛苦。 ZAPPLE !

All that talk of food was actually getting me kind of hungry, and when I saw a sign for a drive- through place at the next exit, I asked Mom if we could pull over. But Mom said we wouldn't be stopping at any of THOSE kinds of restaurants, because they don't serve "real food." She said fast-food places lure kids in with cheap plastic toys to trick them into eating sugar and fat, and we weren't gonna fall into that trap. Mom said she had a MUCH better alternative and handed me a lunch bag with my name on it. Gregory MOMMY MEAL NUTRITIOUS FOOD! FUN ACTIVITIES!

所有关于食物的讨论实际上让我有点饿了，当我在下一个出口看到一个免下车的地方的标志时，我问妈妈我们是否可以靠边停车。 但是妈妈说我们不会在这些餐馆停留，因为他们不提供“真正的食物”。 她说快餐店用廉价的塑料玩具引诱孩子们吃糖和脂肪，我们不会掉进那个陷阱的。 妈妈说她有更好的选择，递给我一个写着我名字的午餐袋。 格里高利妈妈餐营养食品！有趣的活动!

Mom said she got the Mommy Meal idea from "Family Frolic," which I guess should not have come as a surprise. Inside the bag was a tuna fish sandwich, an orange, and a little carton of milk, plus something wrapped in tinfoil. Mom said I had to eat my fruit before I unwrapped the tinfoil, because that was my "prize." But I wish I had just opened it right away, because I wouldn't have eaten the whole orange if I'd known the prize was a pack of math flash cards. Rodrick got flash cards in HIS lunch, too, and we could both see where this was headed. So before Mom could turn the next hour of the trip into a tutoring session, I pulled out one of the games Mom had packed in a big tote bag.

妈妈说她从《家庭嬉闹》中得到了“妈妈餐”的灵感，我想这应该没什么好惊讶的。 袋子里有一个金枪鱼三明治，一个橘子，一小盒牛奶，还有一些用锡纸包着的东西。 妈妈说我必须先吃完水果再打开锡纸，因为那是我的“奖品”。 但我希望我当时能马上打开它，因为如果我知道奖品是一盒数学卡片，我就不会把整个橘子都吃掉了。 罗德里克的午餐里也有抽认卡，我们都能看出事情的发展方向。 所以，在妈妈把接下来一个小时的旅行变成辅导课程之前，我拿出了妈妈装在一个大手提袋里的一个游戏。