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You know when you're watching TV with a blanket wrapped around you and you want to grab your drink or the remote control, so you have to take the whole thing off to free up your hands? Well, the Body Blankie SOLVES all that. It's like a regular blanket, but with sleeves that have MITTENS at the ends. So you can grab stuff without ever exposing your skin to the cold air.

你知道吗，当你裹着毯子看电视时，你想拿起饮料或遥控器，所以你必须把所有东西都拿下来才能腾出双手？ “尸体毯子”解决了所有问题。 它就像一条普通的毯子，但袖子的末端有连指手套。 这样你就可以在不让皮肤暴露在冷空气中的情况下抓取东西。

The Body Blankie is made of flannel, so having it on is like being in bed all the time. RODRICK got a Body Blankie, too, and I think he liked his even more than I liked MINE. In fact, after Roderick put is on for the first time, he didn't take it off for something like five days. I think he would've stayed in it for good if Mom didn't make him take a shower. Roderick used to only sleep in his bed or on the couch, but once he had his Body Blankie he pretty much dozed off whenever the mood struck him.

身体毯子是由法兰绒制成的，所以穿上它就像一直躺在床上一样。 罗德里克也买了一条身体毯子，我想他比我更喜欢他的。 事实上，在罗德里克第一次戴上之后，他有五天没有摘下它。 我想如果妈妈不让他洗澡的话他会一直呆在里面的。 罗德里克过去只睡在他的床上或沙发上，但一旦他有了“身体毯子”，只要心情好，他几乎就会睡着。

Mom and Dad but up with it for a little while, but me and Roderick probably took it too far, and our Body Blankies mysteriously disappeared soon after that. When I found my Body Blankie this weekend, I didn't know what to DO. If I started parading around the house in it, Mom would know I've been poking around in her closet. The only place I could really wear it was in bed, but that seemed to kind of defeat the purpose. But this morning when I was getting ready for school, I got an idea. I realized if I put my Body Blankie on UNDER my school clothes, no one would even know. And being in class would be like being in BED.

妈妈和爸爸接受了一段时间，但我和罗德里克可能太过分了，我们的身体布兰克在那之后不久就神秘地消失了。 这个周末，当我找到我的“身体毯子”时，我不知道该怎么办。 如果我穿着它在房子里走来走去，妈妈就会知道我在她的衣柜里翻来翻去。 我唯一能穿它的地方是在床上，但这似乎有点违背目的。 但是今天早上，当我准备上学的时候，我有了一个主意。 我意识到，如果我把身体毯子放在校服下面，甚至没有人会知道。 在课堂上就像在床上。

But I wish I'd thought it through a little better. The Body Blankie might be comfortable to wear while watching TV at home, but walking to SCHOOL in it was a whole other matter. The leggings of the Body Blankie are really short, so you look like a penguin when you walk. I couldn't open my locker with the mittens, and trying to do jumping jacks in Phys Ed was HOPELESS.

但我希望我能再仔细考虑一下。 在家里看电视时穿着“身体毯子”可能很舒服，但穿着它去学校就完全是另一回事了。 身体毛毯的打底裤真的很短，所以你走路的时候看起来像只企鹅。 我不能用连指手套打开我的储物柜，试着在体育课上做开合跳是无望的。

Plus, I found out the disadvantage of flannel is that it gets really HOT. After Phys Ed, the Body Blankie footies were filled with sweat, and I knew it was time to bail on the idea. But when I tried to take the Body Blankie OFF, the zipper snapped.

另外，我发现法兰绒的缺点是很烫。 体育课结束后，身体毛毯的脚上满是汗水，我知道是时候放弃这个想法了。 但当我想把身体毯子脱下来时，拉链断了。

I should've KNOWN never to trust a product that's advertised on TV. I tried to wriggle out of it by pushing my arms up through the hole where my head was, but I couldn't get my elbows out. I started to go into a panic because there was no ventilation in that thing, and I was worried I was gonna get baked alive like a microwave burrito. After a minute I took a lot of deep breaths to calm myself down. At that point there were only a few more classes to go, And then I could cut myself free

我早该知道永远不要相信电视广告上的产品。 我试着把我的胳膊从我头所在的洞里伸出来，但我的胳膊肘伸不出来。 我开始陷入恐慌，因为那东西没有通风，我担心我会像微波炉卷饼一样被活活烤熟。 过了一会儿，我深吸了几口气，让自己平静下来。 那时只剩几节课要上了，然后我就可以脱身了