17

You know when you're watching TV with a blanket wrapped around you and you want to grab your drink or the remote control, so you have to take the whole thing off to free up your hands? Well, the Body Blankie SOLVES all that. It's like a regular blanket, but with sleeves that have MITTENS at the ends. So you can grab stuff without ever exposing your skin to the cold air.

The Body Blankie is made of flannel, so having it on is like being in bed all the time. RODRICK got a Body Blankie, too, and I think he liked his even more than I liked MINE. In fact, after Roderick put is on for the first time, he didn't take it off for something like five days. I think he would've stayed in it for good if Mom didn't make him take a shower. Roderick used to only sleep in his bed or on the couch, but once he had his Body Blankie he pretty much dozed off whenever the mood struck him.

Mom and Dad but up with it for a little while, but me and Roderick probably took it too far, and our Body Blankies mysteriously disappeared soon after that. When I found my Body Blankie this weekend, I didn't know what to DO. If I started parading around the house in it, Mom would know I've been poking around in her closet. The only place I could really wear it was in bed, but that seemed to kind of defeat the purpose. But this morning when I was getting ready for school, I got an idea. I realized if I put my Body Blankie on UNDER my school clothes, no one would even know. And being in class would be like being in BED.

But I wish I'd thought it through a little better. The Body Blankie might be comfortable to wear while watching TV at home, but walking to SCHOOL in it was a whole other matter. The leggings of the Body Blankie are really short, so you look like a penguin when you walk. I couldn't open my locker with the mittens, and trying to do jumping jacks in Phys Ed was HOPELESS.

Plus, I found out the disadvantage of flannel is that it gets really HOT. After Phys Ed, the Body Blankie footies were filled with sweat, and I knew it was time to bail on the idea. But when I tried to take the Body Blankie OFF, the zipper snapped.

I should've KNOWN never to trust a product that's advertised on TV. I tried to wriggle out of it by pushing my arms up through the hole where my head was, but I couldn't get my elbows out. I started to go into a panic because there was no ventilation in that thing, and I was worried I was gonna get baked alive like a microwave burrito. After a minute I took a lot of deep breaths to calm myself down. At that point there were only a few more classes to go, And then I could cut myself free