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WOULD YOU BE A PAL AND GET YOUR UNCLE LARRY A REFILL ON PRETZELS? Gramma's two sisters both came this year, even though they can't STAND each other. Every Christmas they exchange presents, but I think the only reason they do it is to see who can come up with the most insulting gift. FIVE KETCHUP PACKETS USED BAR OF DEODORANT On Easter at Gramma's house you've basically got three choices of how to occupy yourself: You can sit in the family room and watch golf on TV with the men, go in the kitchen and talk with the women, or hang out in the basement with all the kids.

你能帮我给你拉里叔叔再来点椒盐脆饼吗？ 奶奶的两个姐姐今年都来了，尽管她们不能忍受对方。 每年圣诞节他们都会交换礼物，但我认为他们这么做的唯一原因是看谁能想出最侮辱性的礼物。 复活节在奶奶家，你基本上有三种消遣方式：你可以坐在家庭活动室里和男人们一起看电视上的高尔夫球，去厨房和女人们聊天，或者和所有的孩子们在地下室闲逛。

None of those options really works for me, so I always just lock myself in the bathroom until it's time to eat. The main event at Easter is brunch. The whole family used to sit at one long table in the dining room, but now that the family's bigger, it's split between grown-ups and kids. The grown-ups' table is in the dining room, and the kids table is in the kitchen. I'm kind of glad we changed things up, because when we all used to sit together, I'd always end up next to someone who was WAY more interested in my life

这些方法都不适合我，所以我总是把自己锁在浴室里，直到吃饭的时候。 复活节的主要活动是早午餐。 全家人过去常坐在餐厅的一张长桌旁，但现在家里人多了，大人和孩子就分开了。 大人的桌子在餐厅里，孩子们的桌子在厨房里。 我很高兴我们改变了一些事情，因为当我们都坐在一起的时候，我总是坐在一个对我的生活更感兴趣的人旁边

than I was. TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU'VE LEARNED IN SOCIAL STUDIES THIS YEAR! when we all sat together, Mom would make me eat food I didn't like. She always wants me to try her potato salad, which I might be willing to do if it wasn't served in the same bowl she uses when one of us kids has the flu. I don't like eating in Gramma's dining room anyway because it's WAY to formal, and I think it makes everyone act too serious.

比我年轻。告诉我你今年在社会研究中学到了什么！当我们都坐在一起时，妈妈会让我吃我不喜欢的食物。 她总是想让我尝尝她做的土豆沙拉，如果不是用我们其中一个孩子得了流感时她用的那个碗，我可能会愿意尝尝。 反正我也不喜欢在奶奶家的餐厅吃饭，因为那太正式了，而且我觉得那会让每个人都表现得太严肃。

A few years ago Peepaw had a green bean hanging from his lip for most of brunch. That was funny enough on its own, but when it fell into his glass of water, I had to laugh. I thought everyone ELSE would laugh, too, but nobody did. Dad shot me a look, and I got the feeling I should just keep my head down and go back to eating my ham. Ever since then, whenever something funny happens during a meal in the dining room, I do everything I can to stop myself from laughing. I'll pinch my inner thigh or bite my lip real hard, but sometimes even THAT'S not enough. One year, when Peepaw went to blow out the candles on his birthday cake, his dentures came flying out.

几年前，在早午餐的大部分时间里，皮柏的嘴唇上都挂着一颗绿豆。 这句话本身就很有趣，但当它掉进他的水杯里时，我不得不大笑起来。 我以为其他人也会笑，但没有人笑。 爸爸看了我一眼，我觉得我应该低着头继续吃我的火腿。 从那时起，每当在餐厅吃饭时发生有趣的事情时，我就会尽我所能阻止自己笑出来。 我会用力捏大腿内侧或咬嘴唇，但有时这还不够。 有一年，当皮皮去吹灭生日蛋糕上的蜡烛时，他的假牙飞了出来。

I strained so hard to keep myself from laughing that I thought I might burst a blood vessel or blow out an eyeball or something. Plus, I had JUST taken a big sip of chocolate milk, and I was trying not to let it dribble onto my plate. I tried to think of something really sad, but all I could come up with was Sweetie in his little sweater. Then one thought led to another, and it was just too much for me to take.

我拼命克制自己，不让自己笑出声来，我想我可能会把血管炸裂，或者把眼球炸裂什么的。 另外，我刚刚喝了一大口巧克力牛奶，我正努力不让它流到我的盘子里。 我试着想一些真正悲伤的事情，但我能想到的只有穿着小毛衣的小甜心。 然后一个念头接着一个念头，我简直无法承受。

In fact, now that I think of it, that incident is probably what led to us kids having our own table in the kitchen. I'm not sure how they figured out who qualifies as a kid and who is an adult, because Uncle Cecil sits at the grown-ups' table. I know it might SOUND like Uncle Cecil is a grown-up, but he's actually only three or four years old. Great Aunt Marci adopted him a few years ago, and somehow I guess that makes him my uncle. It does make things pretty awkward sometimes.

事实上，现在我想起来了，那件事可能就是导致我们这些孩子在厨房里有自己的桌子的原因。 我不知道他们是怎么区分谁是孩子，谁是成年人的，因为塞西尔叔叔坐在大人的桌子上。 我知道这听起来像塞西尔叔叔是个成年人，但他实际上只有三四岁。 曾祖母玛西几年前收养了他，不知怎么的，我想他就是我的叔叔了。 有时候确实会让事情变得很尴尬。