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When Saturn aligns with Jupiter, beware a stranger who carries ill tidings. Meanwhile, a person you once carried a flame for now admires you from afar. Your lucky numbers are 1, 2, 4, 5, 7 & 126. And fortune cookies are even MORE worthless. We used to go to the Chinese restaurant in the centre of town on Christmas Eve, and I was always excited to open my cookie to see what the future held for me. But here's the fortune I got the last time I was there- You will buy some new pants. I mean, whoever wrote THAT one wasn't even TRYING. See, what I NEED is something that actually TELLS me what to do, so I don't have to guess. Up to this point, I've been making all my own decisions, and I'm not super happy with the results.

Wednesday I actually used to look FORWARD to when Mom's family came to town, because it was a good way for me to make some cash. One year I was drawing pictures at the kitchen table, and Mom told me I should try selling my drawings to the family. It actually worked out GREAT. I'd draw a picture of a house or a turtle, and turn around and sell it to someone in the family for five bucks.

In the weeks leading up to a big family holiday, I'd draw as fast as I could so I had a big stockpile when my relatives arrived. One Thanksgiving I drew so many pictures that I made eighty dollars. In fact, it was so easy to turn my art into cash that I thought that's how it was going to be for the rest of my life.

But once I got a little older, the same relatives who were snapping up my drawings when I was little weren't as quick to pull out their wallets. And I'm still not sure if it's because I went back to the same people too many times or because I doubled my prices. But when Manny started selling HIS drawings, all of

a sudden my relatives were like human ATM machines. Let me just say this: when I draw a picture, I put a lot of time and effort into it. But Manny scribbles out fifteen drawings in a minute, and don't even ask me what half of them are supposed to BE. This all just goes to show that some people have no taste when it comes to art. Thursday We're having Easter at Gramma's house again this

year, which kind of stinks, because Gramma's house isn't very kid-friendly. The only thing she has that's even CLOSE to a toy over there is this stuffed elephant called Ellie. Gramma bought Ellie as a chew toy for our old dog, Sweetie, who lives with her now. But Sweetie tore off Ellie's trunk, ears, and legs on the first day he had it. So now you can't even tell it's supposed to be an elephant.