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Vice Principal Roy said there are two conditions for running for office. One, you have to willing to attend all the student council meetings. And two, you can't have three detentions or more. I felt like that second rule was directed at ME, because I just picked up my third detention. In my first year of middle school, an eighth-grader told me there was a secret elevator that went to the second floor, and that he could sell me special pass for five bucks. That sounded like a good deal to ME, so I gave him

five dollars for the pass, which looked pretty official ELEVATOR PASS This pass entitles the holder to unlimited use of the middle school elevator. But it turned out the whole thing was a scam and there was no such thing as a secret elevator. I'd been holding on to that elevator pass ever since. But a few weeks ago I sold it to a kid who's new to our school. Unfortunately, I wasn't careful enough, and I got busted by Vice Principal Roy, who made me return the money.

He even gave me detention, which really stunk, because I'd given the kid a deal by selling him the pass at half price. After the assembly I realized something: Rowley has never had detention, so he'd be the PERFECT candidate for student council. I told him he should run, but he said he wouldn't know what he'd do if he got elected. But that's where I come in. I told him if he gets elected, I'll make all the tough decisions and all he'll have to do is show up for the meetings and do what I tell him. I think it's a GENIUS idea, because I'll get to be in power but I won't have to miss any recess.

I volunteered to be his campaign manager so he won't even have to lift a finger to get elected. So we went to the bulletin board in the front hallway to sign Rowley up. I told him he should run for one of the juicy spots like President or Vice President, but he want to run for "Social Chairperson". I have no idea what a Social Chairperson does, but as long as Rowley get to vote on the important decisions, I'm fine with it. Wednesday

Yesterday some of the other candidates were hanging posters up in the hallways and handing out buttons and candy to get themselves elected. So we were ALREADY behind. I knew I was gonna have to dream up something big to make sure Rowley gets elected, so here's what I came up with. When the candidates give their speeches in the gym, the bleachers will be full of students. At sports games I've seen on TV, people in the stadium paint their chests to spell out messages. Last night I got a bunch of Uncle Gary's T-shirts

from the garage, turned them inside out, and wrote a letter on each one so they spelled out "VOTE ROWLEY JEFFERSON FOR SOCIAL CHAIRPERSON". It took all night, and I went through about twenty markers, but I knew it was gonna make a big splash at the assembly. I got to school early today and gave each kid who was willing to wear a shirt a piece of bubble gum. But when we got into the gym, getting the kids to stand in the right order was like trying to herd cats.