7

Vice Principal Roy said there are two conditions for running for office. One, you have to willing to attend all the student council meetings. And two, you can't have three detentions or more. I felt like that second rule was directed at ME, because I just picked up my third detention. In my first year of middle school, an eighth-grader told me there was a secret elevator that went to the second floor, and that he could sell me special pass for five bucks. That sounded like a good deal to ME, so I gave him

副校长罗伊说，竞选公职有两个条件。 第一，你必须愿意参加所有的学生会会议。 第二，你不能留堂三次以上。 我觉得第二条规定是针对我的，因为我刚被罚了第三次留校。 在我上初中的第一年，一个八年级的学生告诉我有一个秘密的电梯是通往二楼的，他可以卖给我五美元的特别通行证。 这对我来说是个不错的交易，所以我给了他

five dollars for the pass, which looked pretty official ELEVATOR PASS This pass entitles the holder to unlimited use of the middle school elevator. But it turned out the whole thing was a scam and there was no such thing as a secret elevator. I'd been holding on to that elevator pass ever since. But a few weeks ago I sold it to a kid who's new to our school. Unfortunately, I wasn't careful enough, and I got busted by Vice Principal Roy, who made me return the money.

这张卡5美元，看起来很正式。持这张卡可以无限制地使用中学的电梯。 但事实证明，整件事都是骗局，根本就没有什么秘密电梯。 从那以后我就一直留着那张电梯通行证。 但几周前，我把它卖给了一个新来的孩子。 不幸的是，我不够小心，被罗伊副校长逮了个正着，他让我把钱还回去。

He even gave me detention, which really stunk, because I'd given the kid a deal by selling him the pass at half price. After the assembly I realized something: Rowley has never had detention, so he'd be the PERFECT candidate for student council. I told him he should run, but he said he wouldn't know what he'd do if he got elected. But that's where I come in. I told him if he gets elected, I'll make all the tough decisions and all he'll have to do is show up for the meetings and do what I tell him. I think it's a GENIUS idea, because I'll get to be in power but I won't have to miss any recess.

他甚至罚我留校察看，这太糟糕了，因为我跟那孩子做了个交易，半价卖给他通行证。 集会结束后，我意识到：罗利从来没有被关禁闭过，所以他是学生会主席的最佳人选。 我告诉他他应该参加竞选，但他说他不知道如果他当选了他会做什么。 但这就是我的切入点。 我告诉他，如果他当选，所有艰难的决定都由我来做，他所要做的就是出席会议，听我的话。 我认为这是一个天才的主意，因为我将掌握权力，但我不会错过任何课间休息。

I volunteered to be his campaign manager so he won't even have to lift a finger to get elected. So we went to the bulletin board in the front hallway to sign Rowley up. I told him he should run for one of the juicy spots like President or Vice President, but he want to run for "Social Chairperson". I have no idea what a Social Chairperson does, but as long as Rowley get to vote on the important decisions, I'm fine with it. Wednesday

我自愿做他的竞选经理，这样他就不用动一根手指就能当选。 所以我们去了前面走廊的布告栏，让罗利报名。 我告诉他，他应该竞选总统或副总统之类的好职位，但他想竞选“社会主席”。 我不知道社交主席是做什么的，但只要罗利能对重要的决定投票，我就没意见。 周三

Yesterday some of the other candidates were hanging posters up in the hallways and handing out buttons and candy to get themselves elected. So we were ALREADY behind. I knew I was gonna have to dream up something big to make sure Rowley gets elected, so here's what I came up with. When the candidates give their speeches in the gym, the bleachers will be full of students. At sports games I've seen on TV, people in the stadium paint their chests to spell out messages. Last night I got a bunch of Uncle Gary's T-shirts

昨天，其他一些候选人在走廊上张贴海报，分发纽扣和糖果，以使自己当选。 所以我们已经落后了。 我知道我得想个大点子才能确保罗利当选，所以我想了个点子。 当候选人在体育馆发表演讲时，露天看台上坐满了学生。 在我在电视上看到的体育比赛中，人们在体育场里画自己的胸部来拼出信息。 昨晚我买了一堆加里叔叔的t恤

from the garage, turned them inside out, and wrote a letter on each one so they spelled out "VOTE ROWLEY JEFFERSON FOR SOCIAL CHAIRPERSON". It took all night, and I went through about twenty markers, but I knew it was gonna make a big splash at the assembly. I got to school early today and gave each kid who was willing to wear a shirt a piece of bubble gum. But when we got into the gym, getting the kids to stand in the right order was like trying to herd cats.

从车库里拿出来，把它们翻过来，在每个上面写了一封信，这样它们就拼出了“投票给罗利·杰斐逊当社会主席”。 花了一整夜，我用了大约20个记号笔，但我知道它会在大会上引起轰动。 今天我很早就到了学校，给每个愿意穿衬衫的孩子一块泡泡糖。 但当我们进入体育馆后，让孩子们按正确的顺序站起来就像赶猫一样困难。