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JANUARY Sunday I wish I'd started keeping a journal a lot earlier on, because whoever ends up writing my biography is gonna have a lot of questions about my life in the years leading up to middle school. Luckily, I remember just about everything that's happened to me since I was born. In fact, I can even remember stuff happened to me BEFORE I was born. Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing backflips and taking naps whenever I wanted.

一月 星期天 我真希望自己能早点开始写日记，因为将来给我写传记的人，肯定会对我上初中前的生活有一大堆疑问。 不过幸运的是，从我出生到现在发生的所有事，我几乎都记得清清楚楚。 其实啊，我连出生之前发生的事都记得呢。 那时候，只有我一个人在黑幽幽的水里游来游去，想翻后空翻就翻，想睡觉就睡，自由自在。

Then one day when I was in the middle of a really good nap, I got woken up by these strange noises coming from outside. At the time I didn't know what the heck I was hearing, but later on I found out it was Mom piping in music through these speakers she put on her belly.

后来有一天，我正睡得香呢，突然被外面传来的奇怪动静吵醒了。 那时候我完全搞不懂这到底是什么 声音，后来我才知道，原来是妈妈把音箱贴在肚子上给我放音乐呢。

I guess Mom thought if she played classical music for me every day before I was born it would turn me into some kind of genius. Those speakers came with a microphone, and when Mom wasn't playing music, she was telling me everything that was going on in her life. TO THE STORE, WERE SHE BOUGHT YOU AN ADORABLE BLUE HAT WITH LITTLE DUCKLINGS ON IT! And when Dad came home from work, Mom would have him give me a blow-by-blow of HIS day. SO THEN I TOLD BILL, "I DID SIGN THE BOTTOM OF THE 1044," AND I FLIPPED THE PAPER OVER SO HE COULD SEE FOR HIMSELF. But that wasn't the end of it. Every night, Mom would

我猜妈妈觉得，我出生前天天给我听古典音乐，就能把我培养成某种天才。 那些音箱还附了麦克风，妈妈不放音乐的时候，就会跟我讲她生活里发生的所有事。 我们去商店啦，她在那里 给你买了一顶超可爱的蓝帽子，上面还绣着小鸭子哦！ 爸爸下班回家后，妈妈就让爸爸一件一件给我讲他当天的事。 所以我就对比尔说：“1044表的底部我已经签过字了”，然后我把纸翻过来让 他自己亲眼看看。 可这还没完呢。 每天晚上，妈妈都会

read to me for a half hour before she went to bed. "MR. LIMBKINS, I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR! OLIVER TWIST HAS ASKED FOR MORE!" The problem is, my sleep schedule didn't line up with Mom's. So when she was sleeping, I'd be wide awake. SNORE SERIOUSLY? I actually wish I'd paid more attention when Mom was reading to me, though. Last week in school we had a pop quiz on a book, and I hadn't read it yet. I was pretty sure Mom read that one to me before I was born, but I couldn't remember any of the details.

睡觉前给我读半个小时的书。 “林金斯先生，对不起，先生！ 奥利弗·退斯特想要再来一份！” 问题出在，我的作息和妈妈的对不上。 所以她睡觉的时候，我清醒得很。 打呼都这么大声？真的假的？ 不过说真的，我还挺后悔当初妈妈读书的时候没认真听。 上周学校突然考了一次某本书的小测验，可我那本书还没读过呢。 我敢肯定妈妈怀我的时候给我读过这本，可我半点儿细节都记不起来了。

42. What does Oliver Twist ask for that gets him in trouble? THINK THINK! I guess the week Mom was reading that book, I was busy doing something else. The crazy thing is, Mom didn't NEED to use the microphone for me to hear her. I mean, I was INSIDE of her, so I could hear every word she said whether I wanted to or not.

42. 奥利弗·退斯特因为要求什么惹了麻烦？ 想想 快想想！ 我猜妈妈读那本书的那周，我刚好在忙别的事。 有意思的是，其实妈妈根本不需要用麦克风我就能听清她说话。 毕竟我就在她肚子里呀，不管我想不想听，她说的每一个字我都听得见。