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himself. When Mom got out of the bathroom to look for her glasses, I had to tell her what happened. Mom is practically BLIND without her glasses, so she said me and Rodrick were gonna have to help her out with Manny until Dad came home and she could get a new pair. Rodrick said he had some urgent homework assignments to work on, and he took off for the basement, leaving me to deal with Manny. I had to brush Manny's teeth and tie his shoes, and then I had to make him breakfast. I poured some milk in the bowl and then dumped Manny's favorite cereal on top.

Well, Manny was upset that I poured the milk in first, and he had a fit. He wanted a new bowl of cereal since he said I did it in the wrong order. But I didn't want to waste a perfectly good bowl of cereal, so I refused to do it. Mom asked what was going on, and I told her Manny was just being ridiculous. I expected her to back me up and tell Manny to just eat his cereal the way it was, but Mom said she wouldn't eat it with the milk poured in first, either. You know, back in the old days adults were respected because of how wise they were, and people went to them to help settle disputes.

FOR YOUR CRIMES, YOU MUST REPAY YOUR NEIGHBOR WITH THREE HENS AND A ROOSTER. Nowadays it's a whole different world, and half the time I wonder if grown-ups should really be in charge. CAN YOU SHOW US HOW TO WORK THE MICROWAVE AGAIN? Mom went upstairs to take a shower, and after she was finished she yelled down and said there were no towels in the bathroom. So I got one from the linen closet and tried to give it to her. But the handoff

was tricky because she couldn't see and I was shutting my eyes as tight as I could. Later that morning Manny had to use the bathroom, and Mom said she needed me to go in there and keep him "entertained." But that's where I put my foot down, because I knew what she had in mind. Manny used to make Mom read to him while he sat on the potty, but it just escalated from there. After Manny was finished in the bathroom, Mom said I needed to make him lunch. She said he likes hot dogs, so I got one out of the refrigerator and put it

in the microwave. Mom told me Manny is really finicky about the way his mustard goes on his hot dog, and she said he likes a straight line right down the middle. I didn't want a repeat of Manny's breakfast meltdown, so I tried to make the line of mustard as perfectly straight as possible. I was pretty sure I got it right. Manny had another temper tantrum, though. I thought the line must not have been straight enough, so I got a napkin and wiped the mustard off to give it another try. But I guess Manny thought that hot dog was tainted, so I had to microwave another one. This time I tried to be extra careful with the mustard, but when I showed it to Manny, it was the same exact result as before.

Mom asked me to describe how I was doing it, and I told her I was making a straight line of mustard along the length of the hot dog. But Mom told me Manny likes his line of mustard ACROSS the hot dog, and when I did it like that, he finally calmed down. See, this is the kind of nonsense I'm dealing with right now. I've seen a lot of movies where a kid my age finds out he's got magical powers and then gets invited to go away to some special school. Well, if I've got an invitation coming, now would be the PERFECT time to get it.