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himself. When Mom got out of the bathroom to look for her glasses, I had to tell her what happened. Mom is practically BLIND without her glasses, so she said me and Rodrick were gonna have to help her out with Manny until Dad came home and she could get a new pair. Rodrick said he had some urgent homework assignments to work on, and he took off for the basement, leaving me to deal with Manny. I had to brush Manny's teeth and tie his shoes, and then I had to make him breakfast. I poured some milk in the bowl and then dumped Manny's favorite cereal on top.

他自己。当妈妈从浴室出来找她的眼镜时，我不得不告诉她发生了什么。 妈妈不戴眼镜几乎看不见东西，所以她说我和罗德里克得帮她照顾曼尼直到爸爸回来，她可以买副新的。 罗德里克说他有一些紧急的家庭作业要做，然后他就去地下室了，让我来处理曼尼。 我得给曼尼刷牙系鞋带，还得给他做早餐。 我在碗里倒了些牛奶，然后把曼尼最喜欢的麦片倒在上面。

Well, Manny was upset that I poured the milk in first, and he had a fit. He wanted a new bowl of cereal since he said I did it in the wrong order. But I didn't want to waste a perfectly good bowl of cereal, so I refused to do it. Mom asked what was going on, and I told her Manny was just being ridiculous. I expected her to back me up and tell Manny to just eat his cereal the way it was, but Mom said she wouldn't eat it with the milk poured in first, either. You know, back in the old days adults were respected because of how wise they were, and people went to them to help settle disputes.

曼尼因为我先倒牛奶而生气，他就大发脾气。 他想要一碗新的麦片，因为他说我的顺序错了。 但我不想浪费一碗美味的麦片，所以我拒绝了。 妈妈问发生了什么事，我告诉她曼尼只是在胡闹。 我原以为她会支持我，告诉曼尼就这样吃麦片粥，但妈妈说她也不会先倒牛奶再吃。 你知道，在过去，成年人因为他们的智慧而受到尊重，人们会去找他们帮助解决争端。

FOR YOUR CRIMES, YOU MUST REPAY YOUR NEIGHBOR WITH THREE HENS AND A ROOSTER. Nowadays it's a whole different world, and half the time I wonder if grown-ups should really be in charge. CAN YOU SHOW US HOW TO WORK THE MICROWAVE AGAIN? Mom went upstairs to take a shower, and after she was finished she yelled down and said there were no towels in the bathroom. So I got one from the linen closet and tried to give it to her. But the handoff

因为你犯了罪，你必须用三只母鸡和一只公鸡来报答你的邻居。 现在是一个完全不同的世界，有一半的时间我在想成年人是否真的应该做主。 你能再教我们一遍怎么用微波炉吗？ 妈妈上楼去洗澡，洗完澡后，她大声喊道，浴室里没有毛巾了。 所以我从衣橱里拿了一个给她。 但是交接

was tricky because she couldn't see and I was shutting my eyes as tight as I could. Later that morning Manny had to use the bathroom, and Mom said she needed me to go in there and keep him "entertained." But that's where I put my foot down, because I knew what she had in mind. Manny used to make Mom read to him while he sat on the potty, but it just escalated from there. After Manny was finished in the bathroom, Mom said I needed to make him lunch. She said he likes hot dogs, so I got one out of the refrigerator and put it

这很棘手，因为她看不见，而我紧紧地闭着眼睛。 那天早上晚些时候，曼尼要去洗手间，妈妈说她需要我进去让他“开心”一下。 但那是我坚决反对的地方，因为我知道她的想法。 曼尼以前会让妈妈在他坐便盆的时候给他读书，但从那以后情况就恶化了。 曼尼上完厕所后，妈妈让我给他做午饭。 她说他喜欢热狗，所以我就从冰箱里拿了一个放在那里

in the microwave. Mom told me Manny is really finicky about the way his mustard goes on his hot dog, and she said he likes a straight line right down the middle. I didn't want a repeat of Manny's breakfast meltdown, so I tried to make the line of mustard as perfectly straight as possible. I was pretty sure I got it right. Manny had another temper tantrum, though. I thought the line must not have been straight enough, so I got a napkin and wiped the mustard off to give it another try. But I guess Manny thought that hot dog was tainted, so I had to microwave another one. This time I tried to be extra careful with the mustard, but when I showed it to Manny, it was the same exact result as before.

在微波炉里。妈妈告诉我曼尼对芥末酱涂在热狗上的方式很挑剔，她说他喜欢中间的一条直线。 我不想重蹈曼尼早餐崩溃的覆辙，所以我尽量把芥末酱弄得笔直。 我很确定我是对的。 不过曼尼又发脾气了。 我想这条线一定不够直，所以我拿了一张餐巾纸，擦掉了芥末，想再试一次。 但我猜曼尼以为热狗被污染了，所以我只好再用微波炉加热一份。 这次我在芥末酱上格外小心，但当我把它拿给曼尼看时，结果和以前一模一样。

Mom asked me to describe how I was doing it, and I told her I was making a straight line of mustard along the length of the hot dog. But Mom told me Manny likes his line of mustard ACROSS the hot dog, and when I did it like that, he finally calmed down. See, this is the kind of nonsense I'm dealing with right now. I've seen a lot of movies where a kid my age finds out he's got magical powers and then gets invited to go away to some special school. Well, if I've got an invitation coming, now would be the PERFECT time to get it.

妈妈让我描述一下我是怎么做的，我告诉她我正在沿着热狗的长度做一条直线的芥末酱。 但是妈妈告诉我曼尼喜欢在热狗上涂芥末酱，当我那样做的时候，他终于平静下来了。 你看，我现在要处理的就是这种废话。 我看过很多电影，我这个年纪的孩子发现自己有魔力，然后被邀请去一些特殊的学校。 嗯，如果我收到了邀请，现在就是最好的时机。