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CAREFUL, IT'S VERY HOT! I blew on my spaghetti for a while to cool it down. But what I didn't know was that Rodrick never actually heated my spaghetti in the microwave-he just pretended to. So when I bit into a meatball, it was ice cold. After that experience, I doubt I'll ever be able to eat leftovers again. And the bagged lunch thing isn't working out, either. This week Rodrick was in charge of making lunches, and he wrote a note on my bag, just like Mom does.

小心，天气很热！我吹了一会儿意大利面，让它凉下来。 但我不知道的是，罗德里克从来没有在微波炉里加热过我的意大利面——他只是假装这样做。 所以当我咬肉丸的时候，它是冰冷的。 在那次经历之后，我怀疑我再也不能吃剩菜了。 自带午餐的事也没成功。 这周罗德里克负责做午餐，他在我的包上写了一张纸条，就像妈妈做的那样。

Dear Greg, Make sure to change your diaper after lunch. Love, Mommy I didn't even bother eating the sandwich, since I've never seen Rodrick wash his hands even once. My chore for the week is laundry, and I can't wait until my shift is over. For the record, I think it should be illegal for a boy to have to fold his mother's underwear.

亲爱的格雷格，午饭后一定要换尿布。 爱你的妈妈我都懒得吃三明治了，因为我从来没见过罗德里克洗过一次手。 我这周的家务是洗衣服，我等不及下班了。 郑重声明，我认为男孩叠妈妈的内裤应该是违法的。

Friday One of the big changes with Mom going to school is that now Dad's in charge of helping me with my homework. No offense to Dad, but Mom is WAY better at homework help than he is. When Mom helps me do my homework, she basically gives me all the answers, and I'm in and out in ten minutes. It's a whole different story with Dad. He wants to teach me HOW to do the work, and that's a lot more time-consuming. Plus, it's been a long time since Dad

星期五妈妈去上学的一个大变化是现在爸爸负责帮我做作业。 无意冒犯爸爸，但是妈妈在辅导家庭作业方面比他强多了。 当妈妈帮我做作业时，她基本上会把所有的答案都告诉我，我在十分钟内就能搞定。 爸爸的情况就完全不同了。 他想教我怎么做这项工作，那要花很多时间。 而且，爸爸已经很久没来了

was in school, so I have to sit there and wait while he reads my textbooks and gets caught up. But math is the worst. I guess the way they teach math these days is totally different from the way they taught it when Dad was a kid, so he gets frustrated with the new rules and starts trying to teach me the way he learned it. NO, NO, NO... YOU NEED TO ADD THE NUMBERS IN THIS COLUMN AND CARRY THE FOUR. WHAT DOES "CARRY" MEAN? Dad also licks his finger and his thumb to make it easier for him to turn the pages. And when he does that, I try and keep track of which pages he turns so I don't touch his spit.

我在学校，所以我必须坐在那里等他读我的课本，赶上进度。 但数学是最糟糕的。我猜他们现在教数学的方式和爸爸小时候教数学的方式完全不一样了，所以他对新规则感到沮丧，开始试图用他学数学的方法教我。 不，不，不……你需要把这一列的数字相加，然后进4。 carry是什么意思？爸爸还舔他的手指和拇指，让他更容易翻页。 当他这样做的时候，我会试着跟踪他翻了几页这样我就不会碰他的口水了。

But with all those numbers in my head, it doesn't leave a lot of room for math facts. I can tell when I've done something wrong, because Dad gets kind of frustrated with me and breathes real heavy out of his nose. So I've learned to put a dish towel on my arm whenever we're working on Algebra. By the time it's over, two hours have gone by and it's time for me to go to bed. All I can say is, I hope Mom wraps up her classes pretty quick, because I'm a person who really needs his TV time at night.

但我脑子里有那么多数字，就没有多少空间去考虑数学事实了。 当我做错了什么事时，我能感觉到，因为爸爸对我有点沮丧，鼻子里的气很重。 所以我学会了在做代数的时候在胳膊上放一条抹布。 当它结束的时候，两个小时过去了，我该上床睡觉了。 我只能说，我希望妈妈快点下课，因为我是一个晚上真的需要看电视的人。

Monday This math thing is becoming a problem. We have "standardized testing" coming up at my school, and I heard that the teachers won't get their bonuses unless we get good scores. So there's a lot of pressure on us kids, which kind of stinks. I remember back in kindergarten, math used to be really FUN. ONE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE PLUS ANOTHER CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE IS... TWO! TWO CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!! Mrs. Mackelroy says that if we don't do well on the test, we'll lose our budget and music class will turn into detention, or something like that. But I don't think kids are really getting the message. A few weeks ago we had a math quiz, and Mrs. Mackelroy said it was "open notebook," which meant we could

这个数学问题越来越成问题了。 我们学校即将进行“标准化考试”，我听说除非我们取得好成绩，否则老师不会得到奖金。 所以我们孩子的压力很大，这很糟糕。 我记得在幼儿园的时候，数学真的很有趣。 一块巧克力曲奇加上另一块巧克力曲奇… 两个!两块巧克力饼干！！麦克尔罗伊太太说，如果我们考不好，我们就会失去预算，音乐课就会被留校，或者类似的事情。 但我认为孩子们并没有真正领会到这一点。 几个星期前，我们有一个数学测验，麦克尔罗伊老师说这是“打开笔记本”，这意味着我们可以